Confusing times...

#BFF

Finally, I'm embracing my social life back. Little by little, but I do have been meeting new people and making new friends that are more like me and my old self's lifestyle.  Not counting the privilege of still sharing adventures with some of the best company in the whole scenario.

Still it's funny to notice how also little by little, I started having dreams I've  never had before. And ever since I started the medication, my dreams are usually quite realistic. Well, I sure won't forget this one.

I was somewhere with Mr. Red and his best friend, in an apartment that seemed to belong to one (or all?) of us. We were drinking and I remember we were quite high and I was totally horny.

I was wearing a short and tight miniskirt, and decided to sit on Red's lap. But I was so sensitive that I immediately started rubbing my body to his. Of course I was willing to have dirty, noisy, messy sex with him. But for some reason, his friend wouldn't seem to leave, or we wouldn't move to the bedroom.

No idea how I ended up in that situation, but fact is that he started fingering me, and I was spreading my legs more and more. His friend was watching something on his i-phone screen, right at the balcony, and I was being totally fingerfucked in the living room. He could see us clearly from there, if he wasn't distracted by the phone.

I only remember flashes, like the moment I was riding Mr. Red's cock and his friend came to suck me at the same time. I get wet only in remembering the feeling when one of them started shoving one finger inside my ass. I woke up wet as a rainy summer, after "almost experiencing" the feeling of having my pussy sucked by a handsome guy while fucked by the sexiest of them all. Or when they both rubbed their cocks to my pussy and ass. They were also touching each other and this didn't seem to be a bad thing - what made everything even more arousing. I always had this thing about sexual contact between non-gay men. Sometimes it can be really, really, really hot.

Or I am just way, way, way too sick...

There were more remarkable moments before the alarm clock wake me up to reality: it's not raining, it's not summer, and I haven't been fucking not even my vibrator.

I'm disappointed...

Well, it's not big deal that I haven't been posting here, since I haven't been to much interested in Internet, anyway. I won't go into this deep shit that came to my life at some point, but fact is that I faced some medical situation and ended up taking a medication , that, according to that paper that comes along , it's supposed to lower my libido.

Well, I thought that it wasn't working like that, because I still feel full of libido, and all the time have these dirty thoughts in my head. Then I was thinking about getting fucked so hard that I would probably scream a lot, because I'm lousy as fuck (should be) and then, in my naughty nasty dream,  Mr. Red suggested a friend could help me keep my mouth shot and my arms locked, so I wouldn't hurt him or break my nails... He would only hold me, nothing else, no other kind of participation, but still... I have no idea why kind of sick thoughts are coming to my mind these days. I'm all the time so messed up.

Anyway, I got horny as fuck and went to masturbate. I could feel me warm, wet and swollen.. BUT...

I couldn't come.

For some reason, it made it harder to come. I do get wet, I do enjoy, but, damn, it's hard to get to an orgasm! And to a girl, I'm not sure if it's exactly good. At least I never took that long to come when I'm already aroused and everything.

In the end, I got what I wanted.. But it wasn't as strong and it didn't last as long as it's usual...

Is this the medicines, or the lack of practice are making me to forget how it goes?

:D

That's it

Some sun

Sunlight, new morning
The city that didnt sleep is now so silent 'cause
It's Sunday we don't have to be awake so early, We're allowed
to take a break for all the day and night, until the second light
Because, you know, it's Sunday
And we've been away from home 
For a long time,but once this tour is done

We're gonna be again, each other's arms again

I wanna hold your hand all summer and whenever seasons change
I'll share your story until the happy end
Forever by your side, whatever mood or tide
we're gonna fight together
You're the one to heal in me
The open wounds that only I can see

Please never leave my life before I can get a chance to show who I am
Before you learn you might regret it too late
Before I'm sure it wasn't but a waste of time
To break the ice on you I tried...

I tried to live on the edge of sanity
I wasn't sure if you would be there for me
I walked paths one would never want to be
But I was rescued from hell by my own will.

All the lyrics are there if you type to the song
It's cliché to say so, but your heart can't be wrong
Let's ride at the speed of sound through the highways of higher ground

The faster the closer we get to the stars
The faster the closer we get:
We get to live, we get to learn
We grown, we throw our life away
We get the fire, we get the burn
We die to live another day.

We are alone

Alone when opening our eyes from a dream
Alone when moving our lips on a prayer
Alone when fighting our inner wars
Alone when despair close its shadows upon us
Alone when the tears stain the lyrics being written
Alone when closing our eyes to this nightmare
Alone, so alone I can hear the void that echos
The silence.

But we are never alone
I am.

As huge

"It's ridiculous, everytime I'm pretty sure I overcame you, at some point comes this urge that keeps me into you. Is this so great sex that I dared to dedicate almost half my life in memories of it? "

It might be the way he fingers me. That long fingers are definitely some girl's fantasy. I actually know how it feels to be pleased by that fingers, and you can bet it's as great as your wildest dreams. And his mouth is great doing everything it does, from kissing to the deepest, wettest caresses.
I came to his mouth mostly everytime he licked me. He was pretty good already when we met as teenagers, but in ten years he had mastered the art. I had never been sucked like that before.
Once, he gave me an orgasm only by fucking me in the ass. His cock is so fucking big that I could feel it in my pussy, almost. Come on: statistic says that some of the women my age still never had an orgasm. That cock makes me cum with my ass. It makes me dripping wet only in thinking about it, and every time it filled me up with its hot juicy load...

One might take that for love, perhaps.

"My love for you is as huge as your penis <3 "

Couple of doubts

Today I was searching the past once more.

I wasn't looking for happy moments that aren't there anymore, nor victories long gone. I wasn't trying to unfold any mysteries that should be laid sleeping, nor to dig up some ancient sadness. I had no reasonable reason to be opening the old albuns and googling old terms. Surrendered to nostalgia, I found us younger in faded pictures, I listen to demo versions of your now old songs, I smile past smiles that punctuated our every messages. I catch up on some yesterday's headlines that I would like to have read back then. But then I stumble upon bitter words someone else wrote about you.

Were you really that bad? Am I really that wrong?

I dunno...

...if I should say "I love you", or "fuck you".




Really.

Everlasting touch

I woke up suddenly, bathed in my own sweat and with an exploding tachycardia. It took me a while to understand what happened. The hot and wet sensation in between my legs left no doubt that I just had an orgasm.
But how come..? I was alone, and couldn't remember my dream. Was I having an erotic dream? Instinctively, I took my hands to my pussy and felt shocks in my swollen clit. I was soaked.

Light and easy, I let my fingers get smeared on the warm moisture, then tasted it guiltlessly, enjoying the flavour and texture of my sex. Immediately I was missing the feeling of your cock in my mouth, my taste served on your stiff meat, mingled with your manly scent, pulsing between my lips.

How long since I last had it: a morning feast, breakfast of a goddess, swallowing your cum as I felt your hands caressing my hair, pulling my head. The memories of you moaning, your voice at its sexiest tone. "That's the best way of waking up" - you said, as I still remember every minute of that last time you held your whole skin against mine. As I still remember every single time you did it.

As I will hope to have you again forever.

New year again

So, let 2014 begin.

Another year that I just have no idea what will turn into my life. Not that I'm lost and miserable, as I was couple of years ago by this same time, but it's a fact that this is one of those years that starts differently specially because I can't see anything in the horizon, yet. During the past months, actually I had to work extra hard to get rid of useless hopes and let go on expectations that were poisoning my life. I'm still working on it. Everybody knows that in life, things are not always the way we want then to be. But in practice, this is pretty hard to accept. Particulary hard, if you don't even know what went wrong. But I'm not giving up. Just giving myself some time.

In the end, my heart remains the same.

Bit lonely

I'd like to be hugged tonite. No sex, just cuddling. Watching a movie (or a TV series..!), or even just to lay there, eyes closed, listening to his heartbeat.
I love that. So close, so true.

Naturally

The water felt a little bit cold at first, but I knew that the faster I got in, the better it would feel.The sun
was striving to shine through the forest, turning the leaves even greener and making that giant blue butterfly wings to flash.

I felt like taking my bikini off. I knew I couldn't. Maybe I shouldn't. But it was my dream, I could do whatever I wanted. I got naked and went swimming to below the waterfall, where you were enjoying the pleasures of natural water running through your body.
I standed up un the stone and you saw me naked. You took your shorts off and embraced me. The cold water falling through our hot bodies, I could feel your heartbeat.

You were holding my breasts with your hands, softly squeezing them. It felt great.
Yes, I was getting wet and ready for action, but at the same time I was so relaxed and feeling great that I just wanted to enjoy that sexy touching forever.

We sitted down at the stones by the waterfall, where the caresses continued.We were just kissing, I was sitted on your lap, hugging him with mt arms and my legs. I could feel your cock soaked on my moisture, I felt little shocks everytime I touched your skin with my hard, swollen clit.
And you started sucking my breasts. Gently, but firmly.

Ah, I really was urging to sit on that dick, and ride it up and down so hard I would feel its tip coming out my
throat...But I was totally surrendered to the physichal sensation of your lips sucking hard on my nipples. The
vision of it was even more endearing: you are so delightfully cute. And sexy.

We laid down  with me on top, my legs crossed around your neck while you french kissed my pussy. Your cock was full and tasteful while I felt it throught my mouth and deep down to my throat. Slowly. It was so intense. There was no hurry, no urge to cum. I could drool on that cock for hours, just for the taste of it, and the sound of your moaning.

Your tongue was soft and warm, and you were licking me passionately. Sometimes tickling the most sensitive spots, sometimes going deep inside. That's when my moaning becomes a loud sigh, and I feel like begging you to never stop. To go rougher. To shove me your long fingers, fist me to scream, spit on my asshole and let me craving for being merciless impaled. But real torture took form of a irresistible caress. Eyes closed, I take your cock as an indecent pacifier, sucking its head in fast and gentle movements that truly and strangely calms my lust down. My body relaxes:  you feel it too and also let go on the pressure of your hand holding my leg. My juice was flowing to your thirsty lips still not quenched.

Slower and deeper now, up and down your rock hard cock, feeling every milimeter to pulse inside my mouth. Some cold water spray from the waterfall made me shiver, and the feeling of my arousing skin drove me to the edge of an orgasm  that I struggled to hold back.

The sounds of nature and that overwhelming feeling was just so empowering. That was divine. I was a goddess kneeling down to devour you, looking straight into your eyes while having you whole in my mouth. A hot, hard, pulsating member I was sucking in urge, filling it up. Your panting excites me. I go harder, hungrier, anxious to be fed by your cum. I knew it wouldn't be long now, I could feel it and hear it from your breathing, your growing roar, your feverish hands pulling my hair back.


One piercing looks into your eyes, and your dilated pupils were fixed on me. Mesmerized, hypnotized - you
couldn't dare to close it while drowning my lust into your hot load. You were just staring as I had your whole cock shoved up in my mouth, a drop of cum rolling down the corner of my lips, dripping on my breasts.
The strenght of the aftershocks made you bend your body down and you kissed my smeared lips with passion and cumplicity. We were one.

With the Nature.

Useless & indecent

A friend told me that there is some relation between the size of a guy's hand and the size of his penis.

Of course I don't believe it, but thinking carefully, there is a possibility, yes, that the guy with the biggest penis I've ever had sex with, is also the guy with the biggest hands.

On the other hand (!!) my first boyfriend had a dick, like 6-8 cm, but he had pretty normal hands. Not a T-rex.

What the f*ck am I writing..?

Reading these posts in retrospect, it gets obvious that I have a pretty disturbed sexuality: I've found a handful of posts that starts with "I won't be writing about sex this time", but most of them ends up about something dirty. It's the only way I communicate openly and in english to the whole world online, and that's how I present myself to the people: as a psycho bitch. Yeah, great, that's quite a wonderful impression to make.

On the other hand, I don't think I'm actually being a bitch. I'm talking about sex - everybody does, and I'm writing my fantasies - everybody has. Come on, not having an appetite for sex at all , that's sure rather more disturbing :D. Probably my conceptions about sex are the healthiest part of my delicate psiqué. :3 My total lack of social graces with strangers is far more shocking than my deepthroat techniques.

 I'm quite sure that by the time I write this, chances are that only one among all the people that ever read these lines, can actually say he knows about my techniques. Although I can also pretty much asure all the other readers, that  this guy doesn't know much about how uncomfortable I sometimes feel, since he's quite easy person to go along with.

Anyway, that's the fate of most things I write, I guess. It's the price to pay for writing my mind and heart all the time: Few years from now I'll read this again and think "Gosh, what the f*ck was I thinking..?"

Just being me

So, I'm back. Did anyone miss me? Yeah, I figured so...

You see, lately I've had time enough to write a lot. And in fact, I've been doing so, just not here on the blog. I dunno why, but I always have this impression I should write something sexy here. So, whenever I'm not feeling sexy, I don't feel like posting.

But I noticed that if I do that, this blog will be soon abandoned...

I haven't been having any sex lately, of course. But I made a promise I would stop counting days or anything as stupid as this. Makes me sound desperate to others, and a complete dumbfuck to myself. And this hurts.

And, you know what? I'm not an eager nympho, ok. In fact, I'm not even that hot: truth is that I'm a f*cking lousy lay... But at least my writing is pretty decent and I like porn very much :3. Not that "Fifty Shades" stuff. A little bit more spice, with some more plausible story as a background. "Naughty bedtime stories for wet dreams" or something like that. Something you'd like your girl to read to you, wank to, and fall asleep. Maybe I should record an erotic audiobook. With sexy background tracks as my voice keeps reading my very true and personal fantasies...

Sounds sexy, but I don't think so. I'm just too shy, I'd probably laugh. Booo hooo, that's the truth about sexy Hamalka. A hoax from the hair colour to the toe nailpolish.

Or not. It might work, too. We can go to the studio late at night, for the recordings. I'll make the readings sitting on your lap. You'll keep me focused in being sexy, and I might not mind sounding a little bit panting on the tracks... I can't really play any instruments, but I do move my hips without skipping the beat. I guess I could sound sexy enough if I had this kind of motivation while reading the stories. Nothing that would drive me out of focus, just a gentle touch of your fingers, your tongue caressing deep inside me, slowly...just to give me that feeling I want to impersonate when describing all that naughty scenes I sometimes imagine...

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here I am, talking about sex again, afterall. Maybe I'm an eager nympho indeed. Or at least a wannabe bitch with a way with words. We're living on a social media world, where we're nothing but avatars of what we want people to believe we are.

I am Hamalka. Not a real person, but still quite a character. ;)

Second light

I didn't have to open my eyes: the smell of his perfume was all over me, as his warm body spooned to mine. I reached for his big hands and could feel his fingers embracing mine one by one. His heartbeat echoes on my breathing, our rythms in sync: I was smiling, and although I couldn't see, I knew he was smiling, too.

That wasn't a dream, a lonely romance, a dirty talk fantasy.

 It was there, it was real.

The dream begins again

I'm off to be happy a little.
Or too much.
For a while or forever.

Wet Threat

I opened my eyes at once. Was I late? Not a sound from outside, it seemed it was still dark. I searched for my cell phone: 4:35 a.m. Closed my eyes, but I was wide awake.

Just because, I started to rescue the dream I was into, moments before. I don't remember where I was, or what I was doing. But I was with him, for sure. I could feel his presence still, hear the sound of his laugh. One innocent moment, than suddenly turned into some hot action. I was laid upon him, sucking him deep while feeling his tongue and fingers inside me. I smiled at the way he curls his toes as his cock gets filled, moaning higher, closer to explosion. In moments like this, his movements on me slow down a bit, and then is when I may expect a furious attack in following.

He was practically fisting me, slapping and biting my buttcheeks while I was choking myself on his dick, drooling all over his hips and rising mine as if taming a wild animal to fuck me. We were measuring forces, he is bigger, but I was taken by a hunger that could shoot a missile.  He locked me up under his body, and would go in dry, if I wasn't already dripping wet. 

He screamed when I trapped his cock inside my pussy. Even slippery as I was, I could still hold him firmly.  One of my hands got free to grab his crotch while he struggled to go out and in again. We were both panting. He pulled my hair back, savagely kissing my neck. I pressed my hips against him. "Give me all your load...Flood my brains with your hot cum..." I was talking more nonsense than actually dirty talking by the time I felt the head of his dick pulsating feverish inside me, and reached a firework-worthy orgasm at the same time than him. Needless to say I couldn't keep a single drop inside me: his cum and my juice flowed freely all down my legs, staining the sheets.

And only then I noticed I was still in my bed, and that wet sensation was only mine. Got up with a smile for the morning toiletry, while my tablet computer was initializing for me to check the appointments for today. A message alarm beeped:

-"Btw, you have no idea how hard you're going to get fucked..."

Bring it hot, baby, for I'm already on fire...

Ok...

Maybe I'm a "bit" of a nerd...But isn't "Paul" one of the most touching movies ever?

:D