Dream Cam

Again I can't count the days since I last had my body cumming below or above someone else's. And last year was so busy that I didn't even have too much time to notice how much I was missing it.

Only after 2016 was finally past and I could rest for a few days in January, I started feeling 'back to life'. The peceful days on the coast exhausted my body, cleared my mind and made me healthier and hornier.

I open the social media page. I intend to send you a message.

"Hi. I've been thinking about you."

I'm thinking about how you look hot when fucking. The way your smiley, almost shy eyes get serious and intimidating. A solemn expression to your angel face shows that devil's taking control.

I've been thinking about your hands violently grabbing my boobs out of my cleavage, as if we didn't care for romance. Been thinking about your mouth sucking my nipples hard enough to make them sore while I deliciously feel my pussy being flooded with the juice of my craving for your fuck. Yeah, I've been thinking about you and how good you could pound my cunt right now.

Instead of typing the message, my fingers slid through my puffy pussy lips. I am so moist that it feels like I had already cummed a dozen times today. I want you to see that. I turn on the web camera. You're not online. On screen, only my mirrored image. The scene you should be watching. I pull down my panties, open my legs wide and expose my throbbing clit, being careful to hold still and close enough to the lenses, so you could see it growing red and bigger, as my thight holes are pulsating for some action. 

One drop of juice leaks out of my sobbing pussy, running down to my butthole. With one finger I rub the moist over my tiny hole.  I moan, because it feels so good. Another finger reaches inside. And comes out. Then back in. I get wetter and wetter: My pussy is begging to be touched, but I won't do it. Not now. My little fingers goes deep inside me, one by one. Just to tease. Almost torture.

I close my eyes to see you in between my legs, my hands tied up on my back while yours would explore my body. I feel the tip of your tongue working my clit and dream the finger stuck on my butt would be your dick actually, but I've decided these tiny fingers were not up to your hard meat, which I desperatedly need to have stuck into me. In my head, you blow me good while fingering both my holes. On the screen, I was just like any naughty slut shoving a sex toy to her pussy.

Totally shaved, I was rubbing a 40 centimeters dildo through my pussy lips, sliding it right in between them. If it feels this good in hard plastic or silicon, what to say about the real deal: a true cock, hard and proud, I was anxious to lick with my drooling cunt. The plastic toy had me guessing how deep you could bury your hard-on down my throat.

And all was getting registered: the slow fingering, the energetic rubbing, the sensual moves and the naughty 'menáge a moi'. On my knees, I hold the dildo between my feet and turn my back to the camera, looking for the best angle to be fucked from behind. Sitting hard on your imaginary cock, spreading my buttcheeks so you could worship the moment your boner goes all inside my ass as you slap my pussy.

Sweaty and panting and overly excited, I turn around and expose my breasts, tiny nipples so hard and sensitive it hurts. All my life I had locked myself in private to masturbate, but tonight it's an online show, cast to distant grounds in order to thrill an audience of one. And I was definitely feeling like a fuckstar.

An squirting orgasm exhausted my strength and expelled the dildo from inside me, along with a tidal wave of cum. Must confess I am almost proud I got that on film. The most impressive climax of my life. What a waste, I wish I was the one to squirt all over your face, for a change...

I turned the camera off and uploaded the video to send rightaway, without thinking much. Along, just a quick message to demonstrate my total honesty about such boldness:

"I miss you."

Keep cumming back...

Just one of these nights I start questioning myself if I'm a weirdo for not realy willing to call anyone out for a drink wherever. It's sunday evening and I'm home alone on a typical summer night.

Spent all day by the pool, testing mixes with all sorts of colorful tropical fruit and a fine vodka.  The hot weather was asking for some topless time. When the sun set, I could still feel its heat on my engoldened tanned skin.

One last shower before I can dress the white nightgown for a contrast. The fresh water comes down my body, and I can feel it in places I'd like to feel your touching. A physical memory that gives me shivers and hit me with a warm wave from inside.

The window is open, the moon is almost full. I can see only the shadows of the palmtrees on the front yard. With the lights out, no one can see me either. Hot as the weather that night, but even wetter, I let my fingers tease my pussy, wishing it were your hands to explore me.

It's not merely a fantasy, but the memories of the actual feelings what turns me on.  From the first time I could never forget how your skin feels like against mine. Your smell, your looks and moves, daaaaamn, for some reason no one had never turned me on the way you do : not before, nor after. But nobody's watching, so I'm the addicted bitch.  I dream of you feeding me with your rock hard cock as deep as you can reach as your tongue plays between my legs. Not even the coldest shower would cool me down by now.

How I love to ride you..! To see my pussy swallowing all your cock makes it wetter as deeper as it gets. I'll put my ass up to you and wait to be strongely grabbed from behind. And while you banged me in my immagination, I came so hard I'm sure I'd make you cum too, with the crazy shockwave that hit me again, with the memory of having you filling me up with a hot load..! 

I closed the shower. My legs were shaking and I had to wait a moment before walking to the room. But writing this all  made me feel all horny again. It's late o'clock and there's no hurry to sleep: I'm on vacations....

Ever since we said goodbye...

I feel like I'm at my best sexual shape ever. As a young adult, not only experience improved my skills, but also my consolidated self-assurance helped me feeling a lot more confident about everything involved in a relation, and the different meanings it may have for the persons sharing it.

Still, I miss that feeling. That heat that warms my heart and sets my pussy on fire at the same time. That urge of fucking while kissing, to cum eye-to-eye. The need of having you so deep and deeper as your cock can get in me. Lemme suck you slowly and intensly as I hear you moan. I'm so wet.

I'll softly slide my tongue between your legs: does it tickle? Do it louder this time, you have no idea how sexy it sounds. Tie me up if you please. I do. What happens next? Shove it hard. Red marks. Ruined make up.

Fireworks.

Deceit

She woke up after the long sleep that might had last a couple of days. She couldn't be precise, though.  Gave up trying. The weak sunlight through the windows could be of a sun rising or setting. She didn't have the slightest idea what day of the week it was. Lately, all days seemed pretty much the same.
The doctors said she was growing healthier everyday. "Bullshit" - she thought. They couldn't know that inside, her heart was still bleeding.

She tried once more to push the memories away, but happened that they would only come back stronger. The incredible excitement about having him near again after so long. He was coming at last. Coming for her. Her every day and night before his arrival was about preparatives to have everything perfectly set by the time he would step on her homeland again. She could already guess his shining eyes, his childlike smile, and this thought immediaely brought her an actual sensation of his warm embrace.

But reality was proven painfully different.

He didn't want her to meet him at the arrival. They met later at a crowded shopping mall, where he was in company of a friend that came along with him for the trip.

"Who brings a friend along for a romantic trip?" - her sister made notice. She had to ask her siste to take her to the mall in her car, because herself was too nervous to drive. And as she witnessed their cold first reunion, she decided to stay.

Her eyes welled up in tears as she struggled not to remember the rest of what was supposed to be a dream date. It was all blurry afterall. But she would hardly forget the much she cried when he didn't want to go with her, not invited her to stay with him. Even his friend, although a nice guy, didn't interfere not even when she humiliatingly tried to explain how long she waited to have time with him again. At some point, the two men sneaked out to the elevator and got lost from her. She was openly crying among the crowd of unknown people in the elevator, trying desperately to guess the floor they were, when her sister found her and grabbed her back to the cruel reality.

"Let's go. There's nothing left for you here." - she said and the truth of her words were deadly for her sister's will.

She was taken in silence to a hotel. Her sister wanted to make sure she would have enough comfort and distraction while digesting those bitter happenings of the morning. When her sister was gone, with the promise of picking her up by night, she expected to break up, but it didn't happen. She couldn't even cry. Took a wine from the mini bar to see if it would make her all emotional again, but no. So she stopped before getting drunk.

She needed to be sober. She needed to be real. She needed to know it was over. Once and for all.

Night was falling, and she knew she would be free by the next time her eyes would open for a new morning.

Boy, she was wrong.

Eternal Flame

I don't want to lose this feeling...

Confusing times...

#BFF

Finally, I'm embracing my social life back. Little by little, but I do have been meeting new people and making new friends that are more like me and my old self's lifestyle.  Not counting the privilege of still sharing adventures with some of the best company in the whole scenario.

Still it's funny to notice how also little by little, I started having dreams I've  never had before. And ever since I started the medication, my dreams are usually quite realistic. Well, I sure won't forget this one.

I was somewhere with Mr. Red and his best friend, in an apartment that seemed to belong to one (or all?) of us. We were drinking and I remember we were quite high and I was totally horny.

I was wearing a short and tight miniskirt, and decided to sit on Red's lap. But I was so sensitive that I immediately started rubbing my body to his. Of course I was willing to have dirty, noisy, messy sex with him. But for some reason, his friend wouldn't seem to leave, or we wouldn't move to the bedroom.

No idea how I ended up in that situation, but fact is that he started fingering me, and I was spreading my legs more and more. His friend was watching something on his i-phone screen, right at the balcony, and I was being totally fingerfucked in the living room. He could see us clearly from there, if he wasn't distracted by the phone.

I only remember flashes, like the moment I was riding Mr. Red's cock and his friend came to suck me at the same time. I get wet only in remembering the feeling when one of them started shoving one finger inside my ass. I woke up wet as a rainy summer, after "almost experiencing" the feeling of having my pussy sucked by a handsome guy while fucked by the sexiest of them all. Or when they both rubbed their cocks to my pussy and ass. They were also touching each other and this didn't seem to be a bad thing - what made everything even more arousing. I always had this thing about sexual contact between non-gay men. Sometimes it can be really, really, really hot.

Or I am just way, way, way too sick...

There were more remarkable moments before the alarm clock wake me up to reality: it's not raining, it's not summer, and I haven't been fucking not even my vibrator.

I'm disappointed...

Well, it's not big deal that I haven't been posting here, since I haven't been to much interested in Internet, anyway. I won't go into this deep shit that came to my life at some point, but fact is that I faced some medical situation and ended up taking a medication , that, according to that paper that comes along , it's supposed to lower my libido.

Well, I thought that it wasn't working like that, because I still feel full of libido, and all the time have these dirty thoughts in my head. Then I was thinking about getting fucked so hard that I would probably scream a lot, because I'm lousy as fuck (should be) and then, in my naughty nasty dream,  Mr. Red suggested a friend could help me keep my mouth shot and my arms locked, so I wouldn't hurt him or break my nails... He would only hold me, nothing else, no other kind of participation, but still... I have no idea why kind of sick thoughts are coming to my mind these days. I'm all the time so messed up.

Anyway, I got horny as fuck and went to masturbate. I could feel me warm, wet and swollen.. BUT...

I couldn't come.

For some reason, it made it harder to come. I do get wet, I do enjoy, but, damn, it's hard to get to an orgasm! And to a girl, I'm not sure if it's exactly good. At least I never took that long to come when I'm already aroused and everything.

In the end, I got what I wanted.. But it wasn't as strong and it didn't last as long as it's usual...

Is this the medicines, or the lack of practice are making me to forget how it goes?

:D

That's it

Some sun

Sunlight, new morning
The city that didnt sleep is now so silent 'cause
It's Sunday we don't have to be awake so early, We're allowed
to take a break for all the day and night, until the second light
Because, you know, it's Sunday
And we've been away from home 
For a long time,but once this tour is done

We're gonna be again, each other's arms again

I wanna hold your hand all summer and whenever seasons change
I'll share your story until the happy end
Forever by your side, whatever mood or tide
we're gonna fight together
You're the one to heal in me
The open wounds that only I can see

Please never leave my life before I can get a chance to show who I am
Before you learn you might regret it too late
Before I'm sure it wasn't but a waste of time
To break the ice on you I tried...

I tried to live on the edge of sanity
I wasn't sure if you would be there for me
I walked paths one would never want to be
But I was rescued from hell by my own will.

All the lyrics are there if you type to the song
It's cliché to say so, but your heart can't be wrong
Let's ride at the speed of sound through the highways of higher ground

The faster the closer we get to the stars
The faster the closer we get:
We get to live, we get to learn
We grown, we throw our life away
We get the fire, we get the burn
We die to live another day.

We are alone

Alone when opening our eyes from a dream
Alone when moving our lips on a prayer
Alone when fighting our inner wars
Alone when despair close its shadows upon us
Alone when the tears stain the lyrics being written
Alone when closing our eyes to this nightmare
Alone, so alone I can hear the void that echos
The silence.

But we are never alone
I am.

As huge

"It's ridiculous, everytime I'm pretty sure I overcame you, at some point comes this urge that keeps me into you. Is this so great sex that I dared to dedicate almost half my life in memories of it? "

It might be the way he fingers me. That long fingers are definitely some girl's fantasy. I actually know how it feels to be pleased by that fingers, and you can bet it's as great as your wildest dreams. And his mouth is great doing everything it does, from kissing to the deepest, wettest caresses.
I came to his mouth mostly everytime he licked me. He was pretty good already when we met as teenagers, but in ten years he had mastered the art. I had never been sucked like that before.
Once, he gave me an orgasm only by fucking me in the ass. His cock is so fucking big that I could feel it in my pussy, almost. Come on: statistic says that some of the women my age still never had an orgasm. That cock makes me cum with my ass. It makes me dripping wet only in thinking about it, and every time it filled me up with its hot juicy load...

One might take that for love, perhaps.

"My love for you is as huge as your penis <3 "

Couple of doubts

Today I was searching the past once more.

I wasn't looking for happy moments that aren't there anymore, nor victories long gone. I wasn't trying to unfold any mysteries that should be laid sleeping, nor to dig up some ancient sadness. I had no reasonable reason to be opening the old albuns and googling old terms. Surrendered to nostalgia, I found us younger in faded pictures, I listen to demo versions of your now old songs, I smile past smiles that punctuated our every messages. I catch up on some yesterday's headlines that I would like to have read back then. But then I stumble upon bitter words someone else wrote about you.

Were you really that bad? Am I really that wrong?

I dunno...

...if I should say "I love you", or "fuck you".




Really.

Everlasting touch

I woke up suddenly, bathed in my own sweat and with an exploding tachycardia. It took me a while to understand what happened. The hot and wet sensation in between my legs left no doubt that I just had an orgasm.
But how come..? I was alone, and couldn't remember my dream. Was I having an erotic dream? Instinctively, I took my hands to my pussy and felt shocks in my swollen clit. I was soaked.

Light and easy, I let my fingers get smeared on the warm moisture, then tasted it guiltlessly, enjoying the flavour and texture of my sex. Immediately I was missing the feeling of your cock in my mouth, my taste served on your stiff meat, mingled with your manly scent, pulsing between my lips.

How long since I last had it: a morning feast, breakfast of a goddess, swallowing your cum as I felt your hands caressing my hair, pulling my head. The memories of you moaning, your voice at its sexiest tone. "That's the best way of waking up" - you said, as I still remember every minute of that last time you held your whole skin against mine. As I still remember every single time you did it.

As I will hope to have you again forever.

New year again

So, let 2014 begin.

Another year that I just have no idea what will turn into my life. Not that I'm lost and miserable, as I was couple of years ago by this same time, but it's a fact that this is one of those years that starts differently specially because I can't see anything in the horizon, yet. During the past months, actually I had to work extra hard to get rid of useless hopes and let go on expectations that were poisoning my life. I'm still working on it. Everybody knows that in life, things are not always the way we want then to be. But in practice, this is pretty hard to accept. Particulary hard, if you don't even know what went wrong. But I'm not giving up. Just giving myself some time.

In the end, my heart remains the same.

Bit lonely

I'd like to be hugged tonite. No sex, just cuddling. Watching a movie (or a TV series..!), or even just to lay there, eyes closed, listening to his heartbeat.
I love that. So close, so true.

Naturally

The water felt a little bit cold at first, but I knew that the faster I got in, the better it would feel.The sun
was striving to shine through the forest, turning the leaves even greener and making that giant blue butterfly wings to flash.

I felt like taking my bikini off. I knew I couldn't. Maybe I shouldn't. But it was my dream, I could do whatever I wanted. I got naked and went swimming to below the waterfall, where you were enjoying the pleasures of natural water running through your body.
I standed up un the stone and you saw me naked. You took your shorts off and embraced me. The cold water falling through our hot bodies, I could feel your heartbeat.

You were holding my breasts with your hands, softly squeezing them. It felt great.
Yes, I was getting wet and ready for action, but at the same time I was so relaxed and feeling great that I just wanted to enjoy that sexy touching forever.

We sitted down at the stones by the waterfall, where the caresses continued.We were just kissing, I was sitted on your lap, hugging him with mt arms and my legs. I could feel your cock soaked on my moisture, I felt little shocks everytime I touched your skin with my hard, swollen clit.
And you started sucking my breasts. Gently, but firmly.

Ah, I really was urging to sit on that dick, and ride it up and down so hard I would feel its tip coming out my
throat...But I was totally surrendered to the physichal sensation of your lips sucking hard on my nipples. The
vision of it was even more endearing: you are so delightfully cute. And sexy.

We laid down  with me on top, my legs crossed around your neck while you french kissed my pussy. Your cock was full and tasteful while I felt it throught my mouth and deep down to my throat. Slowly. It was so intense. There was no hurry, no urge to cum. I could drool on that cock for hours, just for the taste of it, and the sound of your moaning.

Your tongue was soft and warm, and you were licking me passionately. Sometimes tickling the most sensitive spots, sometimes going deep inside. That's when my moaning becomes a loud sigh, and I feel like begging you to never stop. To go rougher. To shove me your long fingers, fist me to scream, spit on my asshole and let me craving for being merciless impaled. But real torture took form of a irresistible caress. Eyes closed, I take your cock as an indecent pacifier, sucking its head in fast and gentle movements that truly and strangely calms my lust down. My body relaxes:  you feel it too and also let go on the pressure of your hand holding my leg. My juice was flowing to your thirsty lips still not quenched.

Slower and deeper now, up and down your rock hard cock, feeling every milimeter to pulse inside my mouth. Some cold water spray from the waterfall made me shiver, and the feeling of my arousing skin drove me to the edge of an orgasm  that I struggled to hold back.

The sounds of nature and that overwhelming feeling was just so empowering. That was divine. I was a goddess kneeling down to devour you, looking straight into your eyes while having you whole in my mouth. A hot, hard, pulsating member I was sucking in urge, filling it up. Your panting excites me. I go harder, hungrier, anxious to be fed by your cum. I knew it wouldn't be long now, I could feel it and hear it from your breathing, your growing roar, your feverish hands pulling my hair back.


One piercing looks into your eyes, and your dilated pupils were fixed on me. Mesmerized, hypnotized - you
couldn't dare to close it while drowning my lust into your hot load. You were just staring as I had your whole cock shoved up in my mouth, a drop of cum rolling down the corner of my lips, dripping on my breasts.
The strenght of the aftershocks made you bend your body down and you kissed my smeared lips with passion and cumplicity. We were one.

With the Nature.

Useless & indecent

A friend told me that there is some relation between the size of a guy's hand and the size of his penis.

Of course I don't believe it, but thinking carefully, there is a possibility, yes, that the guy with the biggest penis I've ever had sex with, is also the guy with the biggest hands.

On the other hand (!!) my first boyfriend had a dick, like 6-8 cm, but he had pretty normal hands. Not a T-rex.

What the f*ck am I writing..?

Reading these posts in retrospect, it gets obvious that I have a pretty disturbed sexuality: I've found a handful of posts that starts with "I won't be writing about sex this time", but most of them ends up about something dirty. It's the only way I communicate openly and in english to the whole world online, and that's how I present myself to the people: as a psycho bitch. Yeah, great, that's quite a wonderful impression to make.

On the other hand, I don't think I'm actually being a bitch. I'm talking about sex - everybody does, and I'm writing my fantasies - everybody has. Come on, not having an appetite for sex at all , that's sure rather more disturbing :D. Probably my conceptions about sex are the healthiest part of my delicate psiqué. :3 My total lack of social graces with strangers is far more shocking than my deepthroat techniques.

 I'm quite sure that by the time I write this, chances are that only one among all the people that ever read these lines, can actually say he knows about my techniques. Although I can also pretty much asure all the other readers, that  this guy doesn't know much about how uncomfortable I sometimes feel, since he's quite easy person to go along with.

Anyway, that's the fate of most things I write, I guess. It's the price to pay for writing my mind and heart all the time: Few years from now I'll read this again and think "Gosh, what the f*ck was I thinking..?"