Loosen my mind

Okay, now it's official: this blog totally lost its purpose. Or it was me: I completely lost directions. fact is it was supposed to be fun, angry, sexy and quite ficticious. But lately it haven't been much of any of those.

Earlier today, a friend who is also a great student of astrology pointed something funny at my astrological chart: all planets are pretty much gathered  together in a 120 degrees range or so. This meaning I can concentrate, in this life, on less things than average, and thus living those things in a much more intense way.

I had never thought about that, really. I do am an intense person. I'm passionate about everything I'm passionate about, I have no shallow feelings about anything that really touches me. I just don't care about things and people that don't. I guess I don't even notice them. and it's not like I'm mean or selfish...I just don't like to waste time or heart. Life's too short.

I can love one, or I can throw one out of my life forever. I prefer not to hate, maybe because the much I can love makes me afraid of the much I could hate. So, whenever I don't like something or someone, I'll just try my best to avoid it. When I can't, this means I also can't ignore the bad feelings it inspires me. It's hard, and sometimes way too painful, but I try to deal with it.

I'm not of one night stands, I'm not of mild datings. I can do them, but what for? Even the memories of my most overwhelming encounters are most impressive than these sometimes empty moments. Like big Donuts that will please my senses for a while and then turn into nothing, if not regret, in the moments next.

I like to be swallowed by this thrill, this will of shouting the whole world what's  in my heart. That's precisely why i got online here at the first place. To write the sweetest love declaration I could...

...if only I could reach him. If only I could touch him. If only I could feel he can read between the lines, inside my heart, how much it's obvious that I love him.

More than anything, ever.