#BFF

Finally, I'm embracing my social life back. Little by little, but I do have been meeting new people and making new friends that are more like me and my old self's lifestyle.  Not counting the privilege of still sharing adventures with some of the best company in the whole scenario.

Still it's funny to notice how also little by little, I started having dreams I've  never had before. And ever since I started the medication, my dreams are usually quite realistic. Well, I sure won't forget this one.

I was somewhere with Mr. Red and his best friend, in an apartment that seemed to belong to one (or all?) of us. We were drinking and I remember we were quite high and I was totally horny.

I was wearing a short and tight miniskirt, and decided to sit on Red's lap. But I was so sensitive that I immediately started rubbing my body to his. Of course I was willing to have dirty, noisy, messy sex with him. But for some reason, his friend wouldn't seem to leave, or we wouldn't move to the bedroom.

No idea how I ended up in that situation, but fact is that he started fingering me, and I was spreading my legs more and more. His friend was watching something on his i-phone screen, right at the balcony, and I was being totally fingerfucked in the living room. He could see us clearly from there, if he wasn't distracted by the phone.

I only remember flashes, like the moment I was riding Mr. Red's cock and his friend came to suck me at the same time. I get wet only in remembering the feeling when one of them started shoving one finger inside my ass. I woke up wet as a rainy summer, after "almost experiencing" the feeling of having my pussy sucked by a handsome guy while fucked by the sexiest of them all. Or when they both rubbed their cocks to my pussy and ass. They were also touching each other and this didn't seem to be a bad thing - what made everything even more arousing. I always had this thing about sexual contact between non-gay men. Sometimes it can be really, really, really hot.

Or I am just way, way, way too sick...

There were more remarkable moments before the alarm clock wake me up to reality: it's not raining, it's not summer, and I haven't been fucking not even my vibrator.

I'm disappointed...

Well, it's not big deal that I haven't been posting here, since I haven't been to much interested in Internet, anyway. I won't go into this deep shit that came to my life at some point, but fact is that I faced some medical situation and ended up taking a medication , that, according to that paper that comes along , it's supposed to lower my libido.

Well, I thought that it wasn't working like that, because I still feel full of libido, and all the time have these dirty thoughts in my head. Then I was thinking about getting fucked so hard that I would probably scream a lot, because I'm lousy as fuck (should be) and then, in my naughty nasty dream,  Mr. Red suggested a friend could help me keep my mouth shot and my arms locked, so I wouldn't hurt him or break my nails... He would only hold me, nothing else, no other kind of participation, but still... I have no idea why kind of sick thoughts are coming to my mind these days. I'm all the time so messed up.

Anyway, I got horny as fuck and went to masturbate. I could feel me warm, wet and swollen.. BUT...

I couldn't come.

For some reason, it made it harder to come. I do get wet, I do enjoy, but, damn, it's hard to get to an orgasm! And to a girl, I'm not sure if it's exactly good. At least I never took that long to come when I'm already aroused and everything.

In the end, I got what I wanted.. But it wasn't as strong and it didn't last as long as it's usual...

Is this the medicines, or the lack of practice are making me to forget how it goes?

:D

That's it

Some sun

Sunlight, new morning
The city that didnt sleep is now so silent 'cause
It's Sunday we don't have to be awake so early, We're allowed
to take a break for all the day and night, until the second light
Because, you know, it's Sunday
And we've been away from home 
For a long time,but once this tour is done

We're gonna be again, each other's arms again

I wanna hold your hand all summer and whenever seasons change
I'll share your story until the happy end
Forever by your side, whatever mood or tide
we're gonna fight together
You're the one to heal in me
The open wounds that only I can see

Please never leave my life before I can get a chance to show who I am
Before you learn you might regret it too late
Before I'm sure it wasn't but a waste of time
To break the ice on you I tried...

I tried to live on the edge of sanity
I wasn't sure if you would be there for me
I walked paths one would never want to be
But I was rescued from hell by my own will.

All the lyrics are there if you type to the song
It's cliché to say so, but your heart can't be wrong
Let's ride at the speed of sound through the highways of higher ground

The faster the closer we get to the stars
The faster the closer we get:
We get to live, we get to learn
We grown, we throw our life away
We get the fire, we get the burn
We die to live another day.

We are alone

Alone when opening our eyes from a dream
Alone when moving our lips on a prayer
Alone when fighting our inner wars
Alone when despair close its shadows upon us
Alone when the tears stain the lyrics being written
Alone when closing our eyes to this nightmare
Alone, so alone I can hear the void that echos
The silence.

But we are never alone
I am.

As huge

"It's ridiculous, everytime I'm pretty sure I overcame you, at some point comes this urge that keeps me into you. Is this so great sex that I dared to dedicate almost half my life in memories of it? "

It might be the way he fingers me. That long fingers are definitely some girl's fantasy. I actually know how it feels to be pleased by that fingers, and you can bet it's as great as your wildest dreams. And his mouth is great doing everything it does, from kissing to the deepest, wettest caresses.
I came to his mouth mostly everytime he licked me. He was pretty good already when we met as teenagers, but in ten years he had mastered the art. I had never been sucked like that before.
Once, he gave me an orgasm only by fucking me in the ass. His cock is so fucking big that I could feel it in my pussy, almost. Come on: statistic says that some of the women my age still never had an orgasm. That cock makes me cum with my ass. It makes me dripping wet only in thinking about it, and every time it filled me up with its hot juicy load...

One might take that for love, perhaps.

"My love for you is as huge as your penis <3 "

Couple of doubts

Today I was searching the past once more.

I wasn't looking for happy moments that aren't there anymore, nor victories long gone. I wasn't trying to unfold any mysteries that should be laid sleeping, nor to dig up some ancient sadness. I had no reasonable reason to be opening the old albuns and googling old terms. Surrendered to nostalgia, I found us younger in faded pictures, I listen to demo versions of your now old songs, I smile past smiles that punctuated our every messages. I catch up on some yesterday's headlines that I would like to have read back then. But then I stumble upon bitter words someone else wrote about you.

Were you really that bad? Am I really that wrong?

I dunno...

...if I should say "I love you", or "fuck you".




Really.

Everlasting touch

I woke up suddenly, bathed in my own sweat and with an exploding tachycardia. It took me a while to understand what happened. The hot and wet sensation in between my legs left no doubt that I just had an orgasm.
But how come..? I was alone, and couldn't remember my dream. Was I having an erotic dream? Instinctively, I took my hands to my pussy and felt shocks in my swollen clit. I was soaked.

Light and easy, I let my fingers get smeared on the warm moisture, then tasted it guiltlessly, enjoying the flavour and texture of my sex. Immediately I was missing the feeling of your cock in my mouth, my taste served on your stiff meat, mingled with your manly scent, pulsing between my lips.

How long since I last had it: a morning feast, breakfast of a goddess, swallowing your cum as I felt your hands caressing my hair, pulling my head. The memories of you moaning, your voice at its sexiest tone. "That's the best way of waking up" - you said, as I still remember every minute of that last time you held your whole skin against mine. As I still remember every single time you did it.

As I will hope to have you again forever.

New year again

So, let 2014 begin.

Another year that I just have no idea what will turn into my life. Not that I'm lost and miserable, as I was couple of years ago by this same time, but it's a fact that this is one of those years that starts differently specially because I can't see anything in the horizon, yet. During the past months, actually I had to work extra hard to get rid of useless hopes and let go on expectations that were poisoning my life. I'm still working on it. Everybody knows that in life, things are not always the way we want then to be. But in practice, this is pretty hard to accept. Particulary hard, if you don't even know what went wrong. But I'm not giving up. Just giving myself some time.

In the end, my heart remains the same.