Day 28 : GONE

I do have a lot to tell. I do have a lot to write. Just don´t have any more time left.
I´m outta here.

See you when the dream is over!

                                        Hamalka

Day 26: whaaaat...?

Fucking drunk again. And tonight fuck all the rules, I´m at myvery own farewell party, and even if I don't intend to be faraway for a very long time I think I have the right of becoming shitty wasted and stuff

Day 25: A piece of history

Five years ago, an airplane crashed into its own airline company building, killing 199 people. It was a night as cold as this. But life was different those days.

Today I went with my ally to the museum. Despite of the shitty weather and that we had to walk a thousand miles, it was pretty great. I love museums of old stuff from the past history. And that one is specially dear to me. It´s an old palace, and years ago I used to play princess on that gardens. I dreamed a lot among that flowers and fountains.

And one of those dreams is about to come true.

Tic, tac ,tic, tac...

Day 24: Freezing fun

Not that you give a damn, but today it was quite fine. Quite a wonder to a shitty, cold-weathered rainy day at Hamalkaland. Went where, guess where? To a fabulous shopping mall! When you have absolutely nothing else to do nor nowhere else to hide, we can always go to a shopping mall: this city has plenty.

I am starting to think my cousin has some hidden goldmine, for she spends so much money I guess I could make a living of it. Good for her-and for me, since she's always buying me milkshakes. Bad for my hips, great for my tongue...

I read a comic book on a bookstore that tells the story of Allan Kardec. I didn´t know half of that and I´m totally in love. Quite a story.

Faith in humanity: restored.

For now.

Day 23: Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah...

Yes, I'm still alive. Missed one day update because of some freakin internet problems and also because I got bit lazy. I´m not built for this damn winter that makes me feel like spending all my days under the covers.
Not that I've been doing so, either. Yesterday we went downtown again - yes, it seems that there's nothing else to do in this city during the day than heading downtown. We went to the City Market and I bought some regional peppers after having quite a typical lunch: cod pastry and baloney sandwich. Then we came back to the neighbourhood for some unusual sightseeing, such as the mansion where ten years ago, the older daughter killed her parents to have their money. How cool, huh?

Today we didn't do nothing much: went out for lunch, some groceries and then I toke my cousin to the fanciest shopping mall in the city, but I just dropped her there and came back home. I hate these fancy places, of course that´s because I'm not fancy enough to that. It´s not worth the effort, I think. Not that I dream of becoming amish or hippie, but I truly don't see any sense in spending a lot of money in clothes or anything just because they´re branded something or something else. And really, I don´t give a flying fuck for what people think about my looks. I never really did, but now that I´m past 30's, I couldn´t care less.

Just one week to escape. I'm taking a vacation out of my own boring life.

Day 21: Rock me!

International Rock Day. Perfectly fitting for a Friday 13th. I wandered the heart of the rock city with my favourite Heavy Metal Barbie, feeling more urban than ever. I know that sometimes I complain and mourn about living in the big city, but I truly love this metropolis and I'm deeply proud of being born and raised in such a rich and beautiful place. Problem is that glamour and modernity are always attached to capitalism and greedy people - and that´s the part I can easily live without.

Anyway, we had a lot of fun shopping, walking, taking pictures and having almost a liter of chocolate milk shake. Really nice days, these. I am really happy my cousin is here, she's really making the days go faster and funnier.

"May the true Gods of Metal grant their blessing upon thy Friday..!"

Let´s do it!

Day 20: Liberty awaits

One more chapter of the bizarre novel that is my life. A mix of heaven and hell: and changing from one to other in a minute. Quite a rollercoaster ride, with the frightening difference that there's not the slightest assurance if I´ll end up alive and well. And no idea about what comes next is either a climb or a fall.

Went out with my two allies, heading downtown to another "3s Day" - this stands for subway, shopping and sushi. Despite of the rain, it was a very pleasant time: funny talking, japanese speaking, lots of make up, jewelry and other girlie stuff. Won't talk here about the stressful moments, it's just not worth it nor good for my skin.

Hang on, Hamalka...just a little bit now.

Day 19: Something wicked always comes

Today could be a great day. Actually today could be quite a perfect day - considering the circumstances - so, maybe I´m just not deserver of such fun and relieving moments.  "Hey, look at Hamalka: she's so happy and laughing with her friends, enjoying some nice moments at the park, so full of hopes and good vibes, c'mon, let´s screw up her day in the worst way possible, so she can end up in tears and regret for the whole fucking night. Shall we?" - this must had been the talking among the devils today.

I must be the worse person in this world. I must had been Lilith, I must had been a fucking pedophile priest in other life, I must had been fucking Hitler. There´s just no other damn explanation why I have to face all this shit, really. Damn, once again I´ll say it: I don´t mind getting up with the consequences of stupid things I do every now and then, but I fucking HATE when my life gets all fucked up because of people that are not worth the air they breath!

Just fucking shoot me and bury me at once!

Day 19: I know this guy

Day 18: So the man said:

"The truth is that everyone will hurt you: you just have to choose the ones who are worth the suffering."
            -Ayrton Senna

Day 18: Change of plans

Today I went downtown with a long-time-no-seen friend of mine. It was really great to wander the streets going in and out of stores, seeing people, riding the subway...We ended up at my favourite oriental restaurant where we ate and laughed a lot. By the way, I had sushi for lunch and sashimi for dinner. I´ve been eating so much raw salmon that I´m pretty sure I´ll look fat as a bear in no time.

Still, I look fabulous. My skin is getting healed and this sure makes me feel better. I guess I'm well on my way to get rid of that shitty self esteem problems once and for all.

Big day is getting closer and fate wanted me to do something else than get my buns tanned until then, so my cousin decided she's coming up to town for some days - precisely the days that I still have here. Not that I am not happy with her company, just that I thought about sleeping, staying butts up and doing this kind of stuff I definitely don't want to do during my days off. Or maybe it´s a good thing to start party-trainning. well, I don't know. Afterall, fate came up with this, I'll just let the river flow.

Now I´ll smoke a cigarette while I read myself a bedtime story, and after that I´ll stalk Mr. Red into my dreams. Hopefully he´ll come tonight.

True dream would be to still have him here by the morning...

Day 17: Watch over us!

Forgive me fellow christians and commerce enthusiasts, but today is my favourite holiday of the year. We celebrate the heroes of this land that fought for the constitution, among them my beloved grandfather that I didn't even get to know before he passed away, but whose memory I'll always cherish: there are so many fantastic stories about him that at least one thing I can be sure of: he was sure a guy who understood that life is to be lived. He was a lawyer,a soldier, a politician, a filmaker. I even wonder if he was ever called a drifter. Anyway, his tales survived.

After my civil duties, I went to have some coffee with a dear friend who I seldom meet nowadays. She went to Vegas earlier this year and brought me a souvenir I just loved : a pink mug with the Playboy logo on it. And I´m already enjoying it: in my bed, under the covers, having a hot cocoa and typing this before watching a movie and hopefully meet King Morpheus before midnight.

Time seems to be going faster now.

Oh, yeah..!

Day 16: My brand of love story

Innocent, sweet, unconditional, true. Built to laugh and to last. A little nonsense, but so is life.
It´s not about defying the world, it's just to watch it together, without being called a retard...

Day 16: It´s quoting time

"I regret nothing. You probably will."

Day 16 : That´s it

(still) Day 15: "If it's true, we'll endure everything."

...I hope it is, because this "everything" , besides way too literal, is taking fucking FOREVER!! 

*outflow time*

Day 15: I Saw

When I was a teenager I was quite into horror movies. Problem is that I never really got scared by them. Most horror movies there is are just too absurd and ridiculous, so I learnt maybe the best horrors are not exactly the scariest ones, but  simply the ones who makes any sense at all. It can even make you laugh, like "The Stuff". That is sure a masterpiece. They say Stephen King is a master of terror. Bullshit, if you´re basing your opinions on his movies, since they mostly suck. "Sleepwalkers" is one of the greatest shit I´ve ever seen, however "Stand By Me", based on his novel "The Body", is actually a great movie. But hardly a terror one. 

There were, of course, very few movies that actually got me by the fright. But none I can remember is a Hollywood blockbuster: "Ringu" - the japanese original thriller (if you think that shitty remake is scary, you'll die seeing the actual stuff) and korean "Oldboy", which ending made me shit bricks.

Still, there are some movies they call "horror", that though are not really "horrifying" are pretty intelligent. I had this impression with the "Saw" series. The problem is that however I saw all the episodes, I was always bit lost on the plot, since I saw them with a quite big interval in between each movie. So, since this week I had pretty much nothing better to do I decided to watch them all in a row, from first to last release.

 I always thought the general idea of "Saw" was pretty good, the soundtrack is great, the photography is great and the games were wicked smart, but since I always got lost on the lot of details, I couldn´t still judge if that was either a good story or not.  After this "asylum", I can strongly say: the story itself is not as impressing as it seems if you see the movies separatedly, and if you see the movies from 3 on without knowing what came first you just simply can't figure anything out and will end up sure it was nothing but good visual and sound effects. Wrong. Of course the whole theatricals are not half as great as its inner philosophy, but it´s something really interesting for those who likes intelligent violence. Or should I say the intelligence of violence?

In the end, the same conclusion: it's not the movies. It's people that are scary.

Day 15: Advice taken

Day 15 : Plane doubts

Yes, I'm packing already. And damn pissed off, because it seems that no one can actually give me any safe information about what I can or can't take in my luggage. I heard I can't even take my toilet kit with me, and this is pretty absurd on  such a long trip, of course I'll want to brush my teeth and put some deodorant on since there are no showers on the plane (at least not for the economic class) and no enough time to use one at the connection airports.
On the other hand, on the air company website it says I can take a lighter with me (!!). How come I can have a lighter, but not a toothpaste?

Aaaw... okay, okay. No stress. Scent or smelly, I'll get there.

Day 14: Fridays may be tricky...

Day 14: Fun in the sun

Okay, I guess by now all of you already know that I have troubles sleeping and past night was no different, so I'll just skip that subject.

While most of you that still bother to read these lines are probably working or bored locked up in your homes, I lay here in the sun, wearing nothing but the smallest g-string thong I could find, butt up trying to get a little tan. There's no one around and I'm enjoying a nice glass of piña colada, though I had a few (ok, a bunch) of alcohol yesterday and had promised myself I wouldn't drink this weekend, but since I have no hangover ,I guess I'll just enjoy myself.

I've been happy. Dunno even why, but I feel glad and thankful about life. I guess I'm just excited and teenagerly in love. Yeah, why not?

17 nights. No more.

Day 13: A sign?

I went to comment something on a friend's blog and there was this "bot check": 13 ensecure . Yeah, yeah, gotta be me indeed.

By the way, mental note: When having an afternoon tea meeting, be sure to drink only tea. Champagne may put you on the ridiculous situation of being shitty drunk before 5 pm.

Day 13: ...and lived happily ever after

Day 13: This ain't no slumber party

...I must re-educate my sleep or else I'll be trashed for facing the 30-hours trip I have ahead. And this time I sure don't intend to arrive and crash to bed. if I could, I wouldn´t even sleep at all those days, just not to waste a second of it.

I thought last night I would have easier time sleeping, but again it was bit difficult. It was soccer night again, and no matter I care or not, people out there do and they'll make it clear with a lot of firecrackers, shouting and horns. And still no stopping - it's almost noon and I can still eventually hear firecrackers.

But it was not the party in the streets that kept me awake: I'm just anxious. Departure day is getting closer and despite of the fact I FUCKING hate planes and travelling alone, I´m more focused of the great things I'm sure there are waiting for me on the other side of the rainbow. And this makes me all skippy too.

Another sunny day in Hamalkaland. No worries but to get lost on the blue sky of the eyes I love so much.

Day 12: Short story

Day 11 : Knock me out

Not the worst day ever: in fact it was even better than I expected. Ok, "better" might not be the word for it, but it isn't so bad after all. I could enjoy a more productive time, however, if I had woken up earlier. 

Problem is that I actually had hard time trying to sleep. I don´t like to take sleeping pills, specially because then it´s very hard to wake me up. I had no alcohol at home, so I thought that maybe some orgasms could knock me down. So I summoned the dynamic duo (Mr. Red & Mr. Hand) for the menáge and chose a nice porn online for making the background. But after three rounds the bed was getting trashed, Mr. Hand was getting tired and I started to notice that Mr. Red was actually only getting me more excited, and the goal after all was to get some sleep. So I traded the porn for this , closed my eyes and tried to stay still. Luckyly the ending of the footage is still unknow to me.

Today my travel agent also scared the hell out of me. Because of some other girl of the travel agency, I almost lost my tickets. Lucky me (and her!) it was ALMOST. I'd just rip her skin off if the worse had happened. And would sure sue the agency or worse. No one screws with my Lonelymoon and gets off unharmed!

But here it is: my ticket to heaven. And back.

Nothing is perfect.

Day 11: Wake up call

Day 10: Stepping forward

I actually opened my blogger dashboard ready to write a lot about the shitty day I had and the lousy feelings that were haunting every single moment of it.

But instead of throwing my words to the wind, I got lucky to find them sheltered on a heart I treasure.
And I'm feeling better now.

"Life is made of choices. When you step forward, something always must be left behind."

Day 10: Before sun rises

Woke up at 4:30.
It's 5:15 and I still couldn't leave the bed, though.

Damn winter..!

Day 9 : Sunday, boring sunday