Keep dreaming...

Fact worth notice

It's very hard to pee if you had to wake up from a wet dream.

Fucking football sunday

There is a big buzz about Neymar finally trading Brazilian football for European teams. Spanish teams, precisely. Today, he plays his "goodbye game" with Santos, against Flamengo team. At the "National Stadium", as FIFA wants us to call the remodelled Mané Garrincha Stadium.

I don't understand this. Mané Garrincha was a great Brazilian football hero. Why take away the honors? Just because the guy had a terrible-sounding name?

Anyway...Come on: it can't even be called an official goodbye, since Neymar didn't decide yet either if he's going to Barcelona or Real Madrid. Boo hoo. That butt ugly guy, who has no clue about how shallow and ignorant he is, a guy who knows nothing but how to play good football (yeah, this he does, in fact, or at least used to). He has been receiving millions just to play ball. He is making a lot of money with publicity too: everybody wants to ally to the image of the talented, good-humored, healthy, young and attractive (!!) guy. I heard recently he became a comic book character, to be featured among the country's most famous childrens comics characters.

Who believed in that tale that he wouldn't leave his hometown... his football.. his nation... blablabla..? Money, money changes everything...Money confuses the values. It gives these guys power. Problem is that they want power to party and get the girls, while the giants behind them are making money to take over the world. They are cheap pieces of the game, think about it. And they don't even know how to deal with the rules. That they end up in vain vanity, ruin their own talents in partying, drugs and vicious rlationships. Become selfish chauvinists, like Cristiano Ronaldo.

Yeah, okay, that "Vice-Miss Buttocks" may be a tramp. Who knows, a girl who thinks it's an honor to be called "Vice-Miss Buttocks" cannot have her brains working right, anyway, but telling to a newspaper that "He called me 'Little Horse!", as if that meant he  said she was the girl he was all his life waiting for...That was pitiful. I felt sad for her, truly. The guy calls her "Little Horse", seems specifically obsessed with her butt, openly tells her he has a girlfriend. Then, sets a date for a high-security meeting, fucks and disappears.

What was the little innocent family girl expecting? Flowers in the morning next? Breaksfast in bed with a ring and a proposal?

And no, I'm not being sexist here. I mean, I'm not saying she's a bad girl or doesn't have a nice heart just because she looks and behaves like a slut (she got famous here after having a lesbian affair with the winner of the "Miss Buttocks" contest). But I do am saying that this guy is no good stuff either. What makes it "normal" to a guy to have everything he wants - even a girl - just because "he can". He can buy the whole security system to hide her - even because he don't wanna loose his official partner. He can hit on any girl, because he probably thinks it's an honor for her to have his attention. That so-naive Vice Miss Buttocks said herself she was amazed because he was Cristiano Ronaldo, so talented, famous and gorgeous, and he was hitting on her.

Maybe, in fact, she could take it as an honor...to the point he called her "Little Horse". Really, my male readers (if there are still readers around, anyway) : would you call "Little Horse" a girl you are trying to get to know better, in a real romantic sense?

Of course I'm not telling the girl should get all offended and react by telling CR how much God will make him burn in hell for that, or anything. If I had a nice butt I wouldn't mind at all being called that in private, or maybe even in public, by my partner, my lover, my friend - as a joke or as tease - but by someone I am intimate enough to allow to.

 Again if I had a nice butt, and a guy called me "Little Horse" in such a brief contact, what would happen next doesn't matter: the point is that I take for sure that there is not a chance for him to be feeling any romantic or caring for me. He wants to fuck. I can fuck, I can pretend I didn't get, I can accept, I can deny... But, really: "I thought he was in love!" is not an excuse...

Well, whatever. I don't have to worry about any football stars hitting on me. I don't have a nice butt.

Being negative

It's not fair, you know..?

Then I got my heart full of hopes, so sure that from now on, things would get better to best. And then, this.

Right now I don't even figure what comes in next. Should I stay or should I go. Who knows? Me; I was supposed to know that kind of stuff. Supposed to.
I see that people who were my brothers in arms on these late times crisis are now moving on with their lives, while I seemed to be moving far up forward to them, and now I was just left behind. Last year by now I had this feeling that life had stood still for a decade and the past eight years or so didn't even exist. But right now I actually feel that it was the past year that didn't exist. As if again, once more, I had to face pretty much the same situation, and all the fear that comes with it.

Yeah, I know: you're understanding shit of what I'm saying.That's what happens when I just come here to tell you guys what I masturbated to the last night, instead of opening my heart and confessing the funky situations that my overwhelming feelings usually drives me into. If you bothered reading at least two or three non-porn posts, though, you probably already know the situation: nobody loves me, nobody cares,maybe I'll go eat worms.

Or maybe I'll just become a superbitch and give away at once, what I have been so lovefully saving.

Shitlosophy

You know what? It's not fair to stop writing on this blog just because I don't feel like talking about fucking, or for how long I haven't been fucked, or how I have lately had wet nightmares.

We all know wet dreams, but what about wet nightmares, am I the only person who have them? I think there are different kinds of wet nightmares. Most of mine involves great sex, but ending up in terrible situations. It happens sometimes, when I'm stressed out or something. And I wake up with this mixed feelings between depression and desire, that usually ends up fucking the hell out of my mind for the day, especially if I'm already in a bad mood or PMS.

Again, I had to quit my old life to put things in order to start over again. First thing I left, of course, what that shiny little office. I'd say the best job I've ever had - the only disadvantage was the office, the dress code, the corporatives...but, oh well, we can't have it all...can we?


Again, I look back and notice the strange connection of the happenings. Here we go, once more, I can feel it. If I had planned, set dates and schedules, it would never happen, I am pretty sure. The two lessons I was taught right from the beggining, and I must learn: "Things happen the way they are supposed to", but "It's up to me to take the chance".

Remember, you guys: the boat of happiness can come floating over your way, but you still might choose not to step in.

Believe me, some do.

Day #284

Today, a whole new era begins.
Stay tuned.