Monday, December 11, 2017

The boring truth

Being Hamalka is a way of dealing with two monsters, becoming a third and stronger one. Lust and depression. Well, I'm not even sure if I have depression, I shouldn't have, but yes, maybe sometimes it's pretty hard to deal with the fact I'm running out of life, and maybe there is no " happy ending " to everything, shit happens and its real as fuck.
I guess I kinda had been ignoring a lot of stuff, just because I didn't find possible to happen. But it happened- and what now?

Now is where I am. Living those days I never thought would come. Wow.
I don't like much opening up about my personal life here. But on the other hand, what's the fun if I'd only be porn. I wouldn't be real. Real people don't only think about sex ot have sex adventures around all the time. Believe me, I do know it. And I already waste a loooooooooot of time thinking about sex.

But yeah, let's see: I was a quite wealthy housewife. All of a sudden I was divorced, without a cent (yeah, that's possible- but I don't feel like going into the details here). Went back to my family and found great jobs, everything was doing just fine, but then the tide changed catastrophically. There were health and family problems, and as if it wasn't enough,  my parents got financially bankrupted. From far, one of my easiest dilemmas are: if I don't get a full-time job, I won't make money enough for basics. But if I stop studying, I won't get my diplomma  and get the hell out of this situation.

It even sounds funny, written that way. How can I be sooooo fucked up. I was the luckiest woman on Earth. It was...late 2003-mid 2004 when things started going to shit for the first .Money was beginning to become a problem, but I was too young to notice it was bigger problem than being dumped. I was so upset about that, that I cancelled the lifetime chance of moving abroad with a friend. She went alone and nowadays she's still living the life we once dreamed to have.

I'd like to say getting married wasn't shit number 2, but for fuck's sake: IT WAS. It was the shittiest thing I've done after refusing the trip. And I can say it without feeling one bit guilty, because when I got married there wasn't love anymore, but family stuff that shouldn't be exposed. Even though I'm just your wild imagination, even imaginary families would deserve this respect. Anyway, it was my fault, blame it on me, its not like I wasn't cruising for this bruise. Fuck me. I know I paid high for the mistake. I still live with the consequences. And traumas. Whatever.

There were good things about that times, too. Or else I wouldn't get so desperated  when he finally left me. Nowadays I see that under a totally different light that didn't take much to start shining on my life that days. Soon I was all back together. I learnt new stuff, had amazing great jobs, I found my love again and even had epic vacations. And I felt so healthy, so beautiful, so happy with myself. Was it the so-called "best of times"?  I can give you dates when I mostly knew it was.

Mid-2013, early 2014: too early to notice. When September ended, I started loosing it. I hardly can evaluate 2015. It was so hard on my body and soul. I'd like to believe it was when I found the fighter inside me, but I guess it was cowardice that saved me...I don't remember seeing death so peacefully close before. In many ways.

When our friend's body went down to its grave, I decided I didn't want to be the next one in a casket. And my soul have been growing stronger ever since. My body recovered enough to face the new challenges that pops up everyday, ever since.

And now, after writing aaaaall this, I feel way better, and actually grateful for being healthy now. Maybe I shouldn't be here complaining, wasting time instead of doing something useful.

Maybe I should actually had started thinking about porn instead of dwelling into that bad vibe. But maybe a song made me brokenhearted. Something that remembered me that there's no happy ending. In fact, there's not even a fairytale.

There's just Hamalka. A monster made of lust  and depression.


Wednesday, December 6, 2017

New Toys

It's well known that one shouldn't go shopping for groceries when hungry. People tend to buy more food than they should.
I can asure you the same goes for entering a Sex Shop when you're horny and been lonely for a looooong time already.

The door was open and I entered that blue-lightened room, which athmosphere was already bit aphrodisiac. The front part of the store had sexy costumes for all tastes, and naughty accessories for bondage. The back wall was covered with sex toys of the most diverse shapes and colors.

"May I help you..?" - soon the saleswoman came to ask.
"Yes!" - I answered as cordially as I would at the bakery counter: "I want an anal enlarger".

The mid-aged woman, who looked a bit like everybody's Geography high-school  teacher, surprisingly looked at me with confusion. I swear that for a moment, I looked around to see if I was in the right place. I reached for a giant double-dong and felt its cyberskin. Yup, I was at the right place. So I went on, as the women didn't look like she understood me.

" Me and my boyfriend like rough anal, but It's been a long while, and he has a big penis, so, how can I do to enjoy the fun without ending up at the hospital..?"

Oh, right, now the woman actually blushed! I was actually embarrassed with that. I didn't expect a sex shop attendant to blush on a client...at least not such a regular-looking person as me. I guess I blushed too, before she clicked back and start showing me some interesting devices. And she even gave me some technique tips..! What happened to the apparently shy woman from before..? Hehehe...

I'm not really into realistic dildos. I will always prefere real flesh. But I do enjoy vibrators and replicas that will look like toys... So, the barbie-pink vibrator got my eye from the beginning.  But then I had in mind I still need anal training, and that girly penish toy didn't seem to be big enough to help...

That 22x4 cm dildo seemed to be really interesting. I liked its ice-like color. Like a penis shaped icicle. A big, juicy, smooth icicle...

On my way home, I confess I was thinking if any of those people that crossed my way on the streets would imagine what I had inside my candid backpack...

I arrived home and set the mood for that "first date".  Bottle of wine, some sexy music, a time not to worry about anything. I slowly undress of my "civil clothes" to the sound of a naughty heavy metal ballad. Wearing only the jewelry I had on for the day, I spreaded my body over the couch, admiring my own image reflected on the big mirror of the room.

I touched myself. I was throbbing hard, smearing my fingertips with moist. I tasted it, wishing it was your fingers I was sucking my pussy off.

The red wine was mixing with my red blood and red is the color of my fantasies now. Keep playing with my pussy while taking another sip. The other hand reaches the side table nand rests the glass, exchanging it for the pink vibrator.

First the vibrations in all its intensities. Choosing the best positions to rub its veiny -like surface against my shaved pussy. Slowly I'd slide it inside, enjoying every inch of it. No lube was needed , so dripping wet I was.

I pushed it until I had swallowed it whole, feeling that "balls" touching my asshole. Then I let it vibrate, trying to hold it inside without touching. It demands a certain vaginal strength, its a quite heavy toy and I was all wide open, feeling that stick shoved around 15 centimeters deep into me.

My flowing juice was dripping over my asshole. I could see the glossy button of my reflection. I was so excited, all ready to get that ass fucked.

Both my hands grabbed the "ice cock". And my first impulse was sucking it. Feeling my mouth and my pussy full. Of course it didn't feel like a cock, it didn't taste as a cock... But I looked at myself on the mirror and my mind could guess the whole scene. Goosebumps shake my body and contracts my pussy. The vibrator feels harder inside  me.

I rub that translucid  head against my butthole. Feels so good. I force it in. Its not easy, it slides aside, too wet, too tight. That big cock is hard even for my hands to handle.

My pussy is still filled  as the tip of the dildo starts to make its way through my back hole. I moan. The vibrator gets tighter inside me. Its too much to handle, I feel it stretching me from inside.

But there's pleasure in this pain . I shamelessly face the image on the mirror. Undressed, wide opened, exposed, a whole dildo shoved in the drooling pussy, and the asshole stretched around the head of a giant one.

Another sip of the wine. Nobody around, but he's on my mind. Anxious to see me having it all inside me. Push it harder. Another inch disappears. The vibrator almost slides off. I hold it. The touching changes the vibration, I loose coordination and the dildo goes deeper. Oh, it hurts. Feels great. A little more.

My pussy spits the pink vibrator out. I almost cum. A hot stream of moist flows out, and I feel that warm waving smearing my asshole even smoother. One of the hands rubs the vibrators head against my clit. The other proceeds pushing all that 22 centimeters into my ass.  "Go on...stretch this asshole for me..."- I can hear him saying.

" I can't push it any further"... I mumble. I feel its the limit. Not even half the device is in.  My pussy feels hot and looks red, swollen, red of all the rubbing.

A little bit more. Slowly. Feeling every inch. Inside. Out. In. Out. Sliding. Into my butthole, into my pussy. One each time. Taking turns.  The big dildo now goes deeper, and the moaning is louder. I take it totally off. For a moment, through the mirror, I see my loosened hole. And shove the dildo all back inside . Then off again. It doesn't hurt anymore, just pure delight.

Nipples hard, drooling pussy, stretched to the limit. Ah, you'd want to see that. Screw me with the toys, screw it all inside me, make my butthole blink. Fill my gap with your warm, tasty cum.

An hallucinating orgasm expells the dildo from my ass as my pussy squirts. Dreaming on your cock. In having all my holes creampied. In having your hands around my neck.

This will be a loooooong wait. But I'll be ready.




Thursday, November 9, 2017

I think it's something in the water.

"I told ya it was going to be wonderful"

The overwhelming landscape that surrounded us was no news for me, but I was totally mesmerized by his eyes I could only see under the sunglasses because of my privileged point of view.
The lenses were reflecting the most perfect summer sunset at the white sanded beaches of a tropical paradise. All I could think of was if he had ever seen such a beauty.

 I've never swimmed too far from these waters, but I know the rivers and seas of mine quite well. It doesn't matter how far is the sailor from, or how much had him sailed across the world, they mostly agree there's something magical about this land. Some actually never leave. Some blame it on the mermaids. 

We had climbed a hidden trail upon the coast. Its not even 500 meters far from the beach, but not many people knows these trails. This means we were probably the only ones in quite a big native jungle area. Wich could be dangerous, but also could be fun.

The sun on my skin throughout the green makes me aroused. I feel shivers when my wet hair drips on my golden tanned skin, covered only by a small white bikini. You wear rubber sandals, I am barefoot, feeling the earth, connecting to this ancient energies some will never believe if they never leave the asphalt.

"Come see the falls" - I'll show you what's wet. I climb in front of you, bending over as I much, showing off  to tease the sailor to my trap: you're never leaving again.
Where the water falls three times, under palms and butterflies,  where nothing but Nature can be heard. I take off the bikini , the only thing to keep me human, and dive into the cold waters of a magic pond among the rocks.

I swim to the other side to meet you, out of the waters, with legs to spread for you. I want to see your liquid white skin contrasting to all the colors we're into now.  You hold me against a stone wall, in the perfect angle for a kisst that gets more urgent and deeper as you slide your cock towards my moisted pussy lips.

You're starting to pant. I moan out loud. Something moves among the leaves on the bend. A lizard, or whatever. I felt I broke some spiderwebs as we got there, but I was just too busy being a female. Feeling you filling me up with a hot hard on, as my skin felt cold over the drying water. The wet touch of your warm lips on my already sensitive nipples was way too much to handle. I came hard right in the first time you strongly stroked your manhood into me to its root. My pussy was pulsating and you woun't take it off.

My body relaxed, but you held it firmly and kept banging me. I wish it would take forever, but I know you were anxious, too.  I put my arms around my sailor, rubbing my humid breasts against his sweaty body. "Cum to me..!"

The hotwave hit me from inside as his whole body trembled. He roared like a male, and our kissing were more brutal than biting. Love, naturally.

We say goodbye at the harbour. He sail. I swim.






Friday, October 20, 2017

Balance check

So, this is the place where I totally expose myself, to those who knows nothing about me. Its like screaming in the desert. Kinda like everyday life but backwards. Out there, I'm kinda hard to go unnoticed, still people can't see what I'm really made of. Here you have all my soul, but that's it. Don't expect to recognize me on the streets, I have rather different colors from inside and out.
I told ya already that have been shitty times, but seems that once one get used to pain, the mind starts to adapt and get clearer again. Or at least able to process. I started thinking.

"Whatta hell am I doing to my life..?" - I've had these kinda thoughts before, but they were never as shocking as now. Probably also because, really, I've never thought I'd be facing such times. I guess I got quite good in overcoming a lotta emotional mess, but financial resection was something I wasn't expecting to struggle with.
Sounds ridiculous, I know. But its harder than it seems, to deal with material problems. And mind you I've never cared about money, I despise luxury, I don't even bother following fashion, I don't demand going to expensive places. But its also true that money was never an obstacle between me and my simple pleasures. My dreams are priceless, so why would I bother with cash.
But when things get serious to the point one has to choose between your mother's medicines or a cheap hair shampoo for basic hygiene, its a clear sign that situation went out of hand. Talk about crisis, I know it well as a Political Reporter... BUT, most of all, I feel it, I live it everyday.  My family and I weren't big fortune, but it seemed unlikely we could end up like this almost all of a sudden. And I know we're not the only ones. The crisis hit harder not the ones with billions, nor the already poor, but the middle classed like us, that had small investments and satisfactory jobs. Now jobs are gone, and so the money of small investors that supported my whole life.
Fuck all the emotional hurricane and wristcutting broken heart stories I've mostly filled my pages with. I feel now as if my whole life I've lived as a pink cotton candy teenager whom is immature enough to smile over own troubles, just because of some fairytalish faith that, in the end, was proven useful to keep me sane for a while. But the while is over. I'm getting closer to 40 than to 30, and definitely, things are NOTHING as I figured it would be, ten or fifteen years ago.

I was living for love, now I'm fighting by instinct. And seems there can be a different happiness in growing sceptical. I'm a hard student, I am a complimented lecturer and reporter, and at some point I know the money-issue will get back to stability and up to beyond. And those who knows my work hardly knows my heart. Those whom I gave my heart might not know the dark spots of my soul. But the woman of this aging body is no longer feeling sorry or apologizing for being self.

I still ain't proud, but I'm stronger. And its good enough to go on.

Monday, October 16, 2017

Insurance

If still my plans keep going out of rails, I might consider selling my diaries to some editor. There has been notes ever since I was 10 or less. Just make sure to publish it post mortem, I don't even read that stuff again, shame on me..! 😂

Poking some wounds

Mmm'kay. Real Hamalka here. So, there will be no porn today. It's one of my rare 'headache' days, I'm not in the mood. Yet blogging seems fine, and I feel I could use opening up something more important than my legs, for a change.

Somehow this have helped me a lot, I guess. In a kinda diverse way from what I would expect - or want, maybe - but finally talking about some things....that I don't even touch...help me seeing myself bit differently. I hadn't really "noticed" how much shit I overcame in life, because all the time I was mostly busy with gratitude about the good things around me.

Ok, I still don't feel comfortable coming up in the details, but I've dealed with nasty stuff in life. And I learnt from all of them.  My mind has a peculiar way of functioning, but unfortunately my  memory is good enough to remind me why people should NEVER GET DRUNK IN FRONT OF KIDS. It doesn't matter if you're happy and celebrating, you adults have no idea how scary you become when to that point of talking loud and laugh at stupid things.

Of course I'm not in anyway saying no one should drink around things, of preaching kids alcohol is devilish- I would never be that hypocrite , because I just don't fit in any extreme. I kinda grew up in both, and I'm living experience on how this stuff SHOULDN'T work.In many levels.

The other day I talked about a particular episode of domestic violence of my adulthood ,and thought I would never have to remember that again, but life is, I met a dear relative whom I haven't been seen for six years. And she made me remind that... Really, for the first time I was listening to someone else talk about that, and I wish it wasn't me she was talking about. I do remember going through all of that, but I kinda couldn't believe I didn't end up way more fucked up than I really am. I was born Mom's Little Princess, I grew up to be (almost) all Teacher's Pet...how did I end up crying, at the Police Station? Shit hit us all, indeed.

But then I remember thinking 'bad things happens to everyone. Amazing things like there is in my life, this only happens to a few way too good lucky people like me'.

I know, this sounds crazy, or the kind of stupid self help talk. But that's what probably saved my live over more than I can had noticed. Knowing then what I know now, I'd probably be less fierceful about things. Wouldn't be so optimistic, so faithful. I believed slaying dragons was part of the fairytale or something like that.

I felt bitter for a while. I tought  I was loosing faith - and I'm not talking about religion here. I could say I felt like the gods deserted me. Somewhere deep in the heart of the jungle, they call it "Panema" , a very bad luck period, the forest spirits are against one. But I didn't have the time to dwell in misery, for I had full bunch of work to do...
 That kinda made me angry at some point, too.

I'm glad I noticed there isn't happy endings before it ends... But if one doesn't expect happiness, what can there be in the end? I'm fighting to make sure it won't be misery. It wasn't til now.
And I am sure the worst is gone. Because I'm so stronger.

Tuesday, October 10, 2017

What for..?

Sometimes, when everything is chaos and I feel broken to misery, my heart turns to you.
And then I wish I could just die before crying again.

Monday, October 9, 2017

Got ya.

We are nothing but animals. Humans have to admit and respect this fact in order of not to go crazy when dealing with the power of our own instincts.

I'm a still fertile woman, this meaning I bleed every month if I'm not pregnant. My body simply won't need all that extras it prepared in case of a pregnancy, so it will simply drop it out.  Nothing more natural than this.

But then you can imagine how big preparation it was, and how bad my body seemed to be expecting a pregnancy..! You can then guess how BIOLOGICALLY horny I feel around a week for month, when my body says I'm all ready to go.  To me it's already a fucking torture everyday, but in occasions like this, it might end up that I totally loose control. I'm not then getting into details of how does it turns out to the real person here, because it's way too fucked up, but I can at least asure any eventual reader that probably my best posts were made in times like this. When I feel like "getting pregnant" at all costs.

He was sitting in front of the computer as he had been for hours already. Working, it doesn't matter, he was doing his stuff and seemed focused. I know how it goes and I managed to ignore him all day long. It had been a very rainy weekend and I didn't feel like going anywhere. So I cleaned up the whole place, did laundry for us both, cooked a nice meal with vegetables, meat and grains, did dishes and wrote few notes to the next class I'm to teach on Politics....and still couldn't drive mind out of the naughty thoughts that crossed my mind every time I noticed he was there, so easy to reach...

He was working, focused, and I couldn't touch him. He'd be mad if I ruined his concentration. But I was so in need I could feel a wet wave in between my legs on my very glance of him. He was listening to some piece of music, closed his eyes and mumbled to the sound only him was listening through the headphones. He seems in a completely different dimension, and so vulnerable..! He wasn't seeing anything, sure not listening to my approach....

It was so tempting and so dangerous idea..! I knew I would have to be very quick to make it work, and there would be no way out once I've started.
But fuck common sense...I collected what I needed and approached him from behind, putting my both hands to his shoulders. He shaked  a bit to the touch that certainly " awakened" him, but still gave me s smile. I smiled back and went on massaging his neck and shoulders. He moaned softly, he was liking it, I smiled. Started massaging his arms, and made a few stretching moves. At some point I had his both arms pulled back around the chair, with his hands together. That's when I cuffed him.

-Hey, what do you think you're doing..?

His tone was still not angry, but I expect it to eventually turn harsh when he noticed I would not give up or apologize for getting in the way of him and his job. "Really, I don't have the time for this now".
It was quite easy to tie his feet to the chair, for his habit was to rest his feet on the chair's basis. It doesn't matter how bigger than me he is, he was the hopeless one now. The cuffs are strong, he always made sure the cuffs were strong enough so his bitches would never escape him. Now he was caught.

-I need to finish this. -his tone was getting lower.
-Let's see what's been deserving more attention than me,lately..!

I bended over him, making sure to put my boobs close to his face. then took off his headphones and put to my head. It was a pretty catchy symphonic hard rock oriented with bubblegummerish lyrics about a love beyond life and against all odds. At that moment, that kinda made me laugh.

-What's so funny..?

I unplugged the headphones, got off his lap and turned the volume up. Turned my back on him and moved away slowly, trying to feel the music with my body.

-It's too loud,neighbours will call.
-I don't give a fuck.
-Are you drunk? -he asked, kinda surprised.
-No, but it's a good idea...I can have a drink to toast on this beautiful scene...
-Cut this crap, I have a shitload of work to do..!
-Indeed you do, if this shit is the stuff you spent the whole weekend working on , instead of fucking me.
-WHAT?!

I still hadn't drink one sip of alcohol that day before saying that, but gosh, the feeling was inebriating..! I finally let the whiskey come down through my lips and went on dancing to his newborn song.

-Feel this rythym. Listen to your own riffs. This is not a song you expect to be playing at the gates of heaven. It sounds like strong booze, cheap whores and loud crowds. And you're singing about moving the skies, oceans and lands to find the loved of your life.
-Well, it's just lyrics.
-About searching in wrong places?

 I wouldn't turn my eyes away this time. His music spoke so louder than the words on it. The song sounded like Prince Charmed proposing to a stripper on a shit hole brothel. Well, the stripper was about to play the evil dirty queen.
I came closer, touching his body as much as I wanted. Caressed his neck with my lips , enjoying the scent of his hair, mixed with the sweat on his skin. He wouldn't pull my hair or force my hips, he wouldn't tell me when to cum or not... He was locked up and served to my will, no matter what he would threat despite.
I pulled off his T-shirt, that got stuck to his wrists. I would have ripped that off if I needed. I let my hands run through every centimeter of his chest, admiring the beauty of my own nails in contrast to his skin. Oh, I could scratch him so deep, as a lioness eager for her male.

-Don't you dare. -he seriously warns me.
-What are you going to do..?

I took off my panties, but kept my skirt on. Sat on his lap, spreading my legs around him. My nails slowly going harder on his delightful white skin... I feel like biting his neck , licking his ears, doing things that makes no sense as I am enslaved to the sensations I get from rubbing my throbbing hungry pussy against his jeans, feeling that maybe he's not that offended that I interrupted his work and was too sincere about the critics...

Yeah, the lyrics were lousy and I felt like I had my share on fairytales. I was never the Princess anyway, so no way I would stay forever locked on a tower. I would slay the dragon myself, escape and become the best hooker at the roadside cantina in the way to Never Ever Land. At a shit hole brothel, where his disgracefully delicious music was driving my mind to, as I moved my hips harder against him.

He was panting. And sweaty. I freed him from his jeans and admired that moment for a while: after all, he was all there for me, at least.
I sure wasn't in a hurry. Enjoying the music and the body movement, I wasn't paying any attention to the words anymore. I was interested in teasing him, twerking my pantyless pussy on his lap, shaking my tits to his face, squeezing his head against them.  Tonight I could suck and lick him for as long as I wanted, not just until he gets bored and turns me up to fuck my holes.

And I would start with a delicate kiss. Its hard to hold the urge of swallowing all at once, but I want to enjoy it as long as I can..!  I get on my knees in front of him, but now I'm in control as my fingers move to caress his balls, put them in my mouth while my other hand reaches around his cock, so undoubtedly hard. I let my soaked tongue explore between his legs, sucking, licking and kissing, as if I could fuck him with my mouth. I couldn't wait anymore to taste his cock, and I deepthroated  that huge dick for long minutes, feeling moist dripping down to my legs...

He wouldn't say a thing anymore. He didn't seem angry, he was undoubtedly excited but also looked bit in pain. I wondered if it was too uncomfortable to be on that position.
I was sure not feeling any easy. Since he couldn't touch me, it was all up to me whether to cum . I hadn't touched my pussy or inserted anything, just virginally rubbed it against Red's hard on, so he'd feel how hot I was...

I was being moved on that lust, and his hostage eyes contradictions with a stone hard cock were taking me to the edge. I more than EVER needed to sit on his lap, but I knew I would have an orgasm before his dick was totally in to my vagina. And I wanted to enjoy that.
He was the one in bondage. I was the one in torment...

Slowly I slide his dick between my pussy lips... Smearing all that juice over me. I hold his hard on with my hand, guide it one centimeter in. I feel my pussy drooling on that pulsating head. We both are moaning, I don't look away from his eyes. My hands guide him to position and I let him all into my ass, slowly twerking him in and out, to the beat of the music...

As it goes on and on the dance becomes urgent and the urge grows bigger. My asshole is stretching up and each stuck is easier and more pleasant, and the rhythm of the song becomes faster as I'm already sitting hard on him all the way. Literally banging his dick with my ass. My pussy was crying in jealousy and I felt like touching my clit a bit, just a bit, because it was so worthy exploding sitting hard on his cock... But then he said something and his voice felt so week I took that very seriously.

-Please, love... I'm about to cum and I will have terrible cramps in this position... Can you untie my feet, please..!?

OK... We have been on that for a while already and I was in fact questioning about that before. So I quickly released the ropes and put his feet free, so I could go on deciding how I would c...

-Wait, how come..?!

His hands were free and he was grabbing me from the neck. His eyes were sadistic and he said nothing, but carried me to the couch and shoved that harder-than-ever  erection on my pussy. I screamed and he slapped my butt , while deeply, violently banging me as if I was just a little sex toy. I couldn't help cumming, and was still on the top of the shockwave when he filled my anal gap with two fingers.

When he felt my pussy stopped pulsating and sucking his cock, he twisted me upside down and choked me on his dick. "You came when you wanted to, right? Now I want to cum, too!" -he said and proceeded fucking my throat without bothering if I could breathe at all. Maybe he noticed he was also so aroused that it wouldn't take long. But I had his penis so deep into my throat that it was actually a very clean scene... I swallowed all his load right away, without missing a single drop.

After we both recovered breath, I remember to ask:

-But how come you opened the cuffs..? I know myself those ones are the strongest there are..!

He laughed.

-They're safe, too. Just so they have a "trick" to be opened in case one can't find the keys,or some psycho sex nympho girlfriend tries to turn one into an unemployed sex slave...

-You won't loose your job, I'll let you finish your piece now. Besides, you'll have a lotta work ahead rewriting those lyrics...



Sunday, September 24, 2017

I want you whore.

Unbelievable. I've been awaken for over 30 hours now. Had a long day of activities at my weekends job, which involves quite a bit of physical effort, so, I should be feeling tired as hell, but I'm strong and motivated! Not to say, I'm bit excited in fact.
Yes, I had spend all night up with him again. Judge me, I couldn't resist his appeal. Its hopeless, I'm a basket case and might die of him.

Last night we decided to go somewhere we could make sure no one would know us. I knew exactly the place. A nightclub that would play generic pop music and served nice drinks, which meant at least somewhat fun enough to consider.
We called the cab and he drove us from the hotel to the club. I was wearing a top coat and took it off on my way into the club. He looked at me, seemed surprised by my black leather looks.

-Uau. -He'd only say, blinking his eyes.
- I thought you would like.

I kept looking at him, trying to guess when he would figure. So far he didn't show. We had just ordered our drinks when an old Shakira song dragged us to the dancefloor. Once more we would share a dance, careless about the steps and focused on each other's bodies. By the time the song ended, our drinks were served on the table.  I preferred to sit on his lap  instead  of the couch.

The song now was some radio-oriented latin pop and I started to move my hips against his body. I knew he'd take it as a permission for more daring caresses. I felt his big hands moving from my waist to in between my legs, and that long fingers sneak as claws into my underwear, touching and exploring shamelessly.
We knew we were being observed. And we couldn't even pretend we'd give a damn.  Both his hands were right in the center of my body, spreading my pussy opened under my lacey panties.
He was squeezing and teasing me with his fingertips, slowly dipping them in and out to the root.

He had two fingers sliding between my buttcrack and my vagina, and they started taking turns in penetrating my ass hole, already smeared with pussy juice. I was flowing like a river and  desperately needed to have him inside me, but I knew I'd just cum too fast if his cock touched my cunt now...
We were kissing and enjoying each other's flavour, which was driving me even more eager.  With my free hand I unzipped his jeans and reached for that huge juicy cock , that seemed harder than ever.

Look at that little bitch...she,'s about to get some..!

Suddenly I got aware of all that glances at us. Some were discreet, others would come closer to openly admire and comment about the scene.
He had been stretching my ass for a while now and I could lead him to my hole. I rubbed that delicious cock against my soaked pussy, covering it in moist before pushing it gently towards my buttocks.

"Oh my gosh, how can she take such a big dick like this...!" -A sexy lady smiled in shock. "This whore must be well trained.." , a man besides her watched closely enough  so I felt like a kind of exhibition. Maybe that's what our sexual energy actually is: a form of art, and a fucking masterpiece.
I tried to close my eyes, but didn't want to miss not one of his reactions and expressions.

"You re a cum-guzzling anal whore whose sole purpose in life is to pleasure me..!"

His hands were grabbing my hips and his long fingers would end up pinching my clit and teasing my pussy, as  he pumped his dick inside my ass.
I would notice the way men was glancing at me, but also I would notice the way women looked at him..!  I was sure a lot of them had never seen a dick as big as that one, or at least had never fucked one.  And I was aware my tiny figure would complete the scene with an enhancing effect.

'I want you to expose me..!' - I asked, almost begging again. That submissive part suited me so fine. We walked to the secret rooms maze there was a big hall for couples only, and where fantasies knew no limits.
He tried to break my lingerie but couldn't, so he pulled it aside instead. Bended me over and banged me hard in the ass while his fingers worked my pussy. And there was no more discreet looks, we were onstage and putting off quite a fucking spectacle.

A random lady came closer, spreaded her legs and started touching herself.
He demanded me to help her by licking her pussy while finger fucking her in the ass. I could only guess  how did he look as he ripped off my tiny asshole with his  dick . I had my mouth focused on tapping her cunt with my tongue and carefully insert my long-nailed fingers upon her ass.

-Make this slut feel what you are feeling now... - his attacks were getting merciless as his cock felt to be growing even harder.  I  got bit jealous on the way that anonymous woman looked at him, but I absolutely couldn't blame her... After all it was my ass he was sticking his dick into.
He made me give her a strapon to fuck my pussy while he was still bangng my butt. I felt no pain anymore as he would  show off the way he was massacrating me from behind.

My tits got squeezed against her soft skin. My efforts were in exploiting an unknowed woman whose hands were keeping my gap wide opened while Red rested his cock in the dephts of her throat.  And when he was drowning his cock all the way inside my ass, I could feel her moisted mouth gently sucking his balls, as it hit against my swollen clit.

"Fuck her harder..!" - the audience would cheer. He grabbed me by the hair and threatened to my ear. "They're all seeing the bitch you are..!"  I was being impaled, condemned, exposed, humiliated,abused, exploited fucked good..!  Never been so enslaved. Never felt so free.

He was holding my hair firmly and destroying my butthole with his rock hard boner. My pussy was being harshly rubbed against the other woman's face and I felt his dick pulsating inside me, meaning he soon would cum. This thought drove me to the limit, and I yelled him my urge to cum... 

If he hadn't permitted, I'd probably had exploded anyway... I squirted my hot cum all over that woman's face, few seconds before feeling a hot sprint filling my butt and drip it throughout my legs...
 He softly kissed my cheek: "Now you sit on her face and let her eat my cum from your ass.."

I wouldn't dare to disobey. I kissed him deep as I felt some hungry mouth French kissing my butt hole. I was learning everyday what it meant to live solely to please him.

Saturday, September 23, 2017

On another subject...

I was just thinking that this blog grew more and more about porn since it's beginning, and I'm not sure if I feel comfortable with that ... Even if this doesn't really make a difference. Audience is the same.
Well, at least its way better than those depressive nightmares. I dunno even why I write that. Ugh. Probably just to register. I'm that kind of sick person who needs to register everything.
Of course, I am Hamalka. I'm not even a real person.
😉

Ropes and Dreams

I knew I shouldn't be there. As always, there I was, though. Promising myself it would be the last time. Promising myself I would let it go at once.
It has been a while since we last met, anyway.  Things had changed a lot, at least for me.  And for the first time in years I felt confident about meeting him, exactly because I believed I was finally immune to his deeds.

I was probably the last client to enter the bar that night. The show was long over, most people were leaving. But I had worked the whole day since before dawning and I wasn't up for much anyway. Just agreed in showing up because would be pretty unpolite not to go there, knowing how rarely he's in town. "We are friends." - I kept saying to myself, forcing that situation off the scope of my so called love-life.

-There you are, at last..! - he welcomed me with a smile. 

Kiss on the cheek. May I buy you a drink. He didn't ask for how long I've been there, which was a little disappointing. My inner pride was screaming for noticing that maybe he didn't even missed me at all.

We started having any kind of soft conversation, amenities... I probably was way more exhausted than I thought I was. My head was becoming light and dizzy, I was struggling to keep my eyes open. I sure didn't want to be that unpolite, but fact is that I couldn't even keep track of what he was telling me.

-Are you all right? - He asked at some point, sounding worried.
-Yes, I... I'm just tired, that's all.

So he would go on telling that long story I wasn't get to follow at all. I thought about ordering a coffee, or energy drink. I was starting to worry about how would I leave home in that condition, since I was there by driving my own car. His voice went on and on, blabbing, and that's the last thing I can remember.


When I opened my eyes, I thought for a second that all happenings before were merely a dream. I was in my room, in my bed. Only when I tried to get up I notice I was firmly tied to the bedsides. Again.

-You know... you shouldn't lie to me like that.

-Whatta fuck are you talking about? - I reacted in anger, while he would keep that undisturbable voice tone.

-Shhhh...!- he  was giving back at me, manipulating something I couldn't see. - Just say "I'm sorry", and I might think about accepting your apologies...

-I have nothing to apologize for...Even less for you..! 

This sure triggered his fury.

-You said you loved me, and you'd be mine forever, remember?! - Now his eyes were filled in rage and he was screaming very close to my face, violently grabbing my chin. - You've cheated on me, bitch, and don't you dare denying it!

-What the hell are you saying, we broke up a zillion years ago, and it wasn't even my fault tha...

-You're MINE ! - He bursted, hitting hard with a long leather whip on my inked skin. I knew exactly what he was trying to point. I said nothing, but looked away from him. He was forcing me to face him.

-You are mine. And I'm not giving you up. So, be a good girl and honor your own fucking word! - he slapped my face and moved away. Then he turned back, watching me. It was useless to try to escape, I knew that. Having a lover so bigger than me was always a turn on for bondage games. But it also meant big trouble if things eventually got out of hand.

I've decided then I wouldn't give what he wanted. He came back to me and ripped off my panties. I didn't react.  Closed my eyes and stayed quiet as he hit me again with the whip. Nothing. He squeezed my breasts, pinching my nipples hard. "I know you're feeling this..!" - he laughed sleazily.

Of course I was feeling everything: the sore skin under his whipping, my clamped nipples about to bleed, and the way he fucked me with the whip handle. All these sensations that could mean pleasure or pain, I was hard on my way trying to show none. If he noticed I was turned on, he'd get excited. If he noticed I was suffering, he'd feel good about punishing me. So I drove my thoughts somewhere neutral and boring, where he wouldn't get a drop of moist from my wide open pussy.

-So... Hamalka doesn't want to play ...- he finally stated. I kept my eyes shut, my face without expression, believing he finally got I was not for joking, and maybe we should seriously talk about how far these bondage stuff was going anyway. I mean, that was quite okay while part of the relationship and we were both aware of how things were going, but this time he fucking doped me, and I really wasn't intending to end up among the bedsheets with him. That wasn't only lousy, it was so damn dangerous and way beyond common sense.

-Pardon, Ma'am... I guess you really didn't get it.  If you're not in for the play, maybe it's time to take things more seriously here...

I didn't have a second to think about what could that mean. And in the very second I opened my eyes he lock my head in the darkness of a tight leather hood. I could barely breathe while he turned me belly down and I felt ropes being tied all over my body, tighly as hell. He squeezed and tied my breasts, and I'd scream with an excruciating pain when he tightened the knots. But the hood suffocated me as I felt him introducing not one, but at least three cold round capsules inside my vagina. I tried to move my hips but I was totally paralyzed. When I felt his fingertips ticking my asshole, I knew I could wait for the cold moist of some lube that precedes some anal insertion.

Instead, he spit on my asshole and started finger fucking it carefreely. One finger, two, slow or fast, never mind, he was just manipulating it to will. I started to feel wet and one of the gadgets fell from my pussy.  He gave an evil laugh: "Could it be that your're so broken that cannot even hold it inside, your loosened bitch..!" -then he shoved the thing back inside and tightened one round of rope along my body - passing right through in between my legs. The rope would disappear into my labia while keeping the toys locked in.

Last thing, he unzipped a hole on the hood, allowing me to breath through my mouth. I should had imagine that as I opened my lips to breathe, he'd  shove something in. He kissed me so long, going so deep with his tongue that I felt I'd faint. 

Then he released the cuffs that held me to the bed, tuned me belly down and pulled both my arms back, closing the cuffs across the leg spreader. I was in quite an awkward, uncomfortable position. All exposed, feeling my breasts pulsating for the lack of bloodflow. The whole body wrapped in that ropes, as a piece of meat that I am. I wasn't seeing, I wasn't hearing okay, for the leather hood was muffling my ears. I could hear his voice, but not always could understand the talking.

Suddenly a shockwave of heat and vibration started moving inside me...! The capsules he put inside me were nothing else than fucking remote controlled vibrating Ben-Wa balls. I started moaning louder and louder. 

-Now I guess you're enjoying, huh..? - he laughed,  and I could feel his breath on my crotch, meaning that he was watching my bald pussy very closely. - You're dripping wet now... So, why don't you show some gratitude?

-T...t-thank you..! - I mumbled. I wasn't thinking at all. He slapped my pussy hard with the whip. 
-What? Say it louder, I can't hear you..!
-Thank you..! - In the little of my strenght, I felt like I was actually screaming. He whippeed me in the pussy again.
- Thank what?? - His voice got harder, another slap and now he was pinching my nipples, too. 
- Thank you, MASTER..! - I ended up saying.
- Again. Mean it, you little whore..!
- Thank you, Master, thank you.! - and now I sure was screaming out loud. I was crying already. The harder he hit, the wetter I'd get, and I felt I was about to cum. The rope tightened over my vagina wouldn't allow me to spit off the Ben Wa balls, and the vibration and movement were way too strong to drive me to an orgasm. Instead it was pure torture. 

He turned me around and proceeded choking me on his hard rock dick, grabbing my tits that I'd guess purple-squeezed by then. He took off the hood and sat on my face, suffocating me.  Tiny woman I am, he could grab both my buttcheeks, spreading my butt open and pulling the rope strongly rubbing it against my asshole. I could feel his cock deep on my throat as he'd rub his balls against my face. He loosened the rope in between my legs. just enough to get access to my butthole. One hand  was grabbing my pussy, trying to keep the vibrators inside...one slided out and rolled to the floor. The sensation of expelling that vibrating device was so relieving that in fact increased my excitement. I almost cummed.

-You'll cum when I say so..! - he strongly made notice. And as a prove of his power, he turned off the vibrators and got off me. All of a sudden, everything stopped. All that overwhelming physical touching turned cold and distance. Even the room became silent, and I felt confused , sobbing and panting while crossing looks with his ice cold eyes. 

-Please, don't stop..! - I moaned softly.
He just watched.
-Please... - I insisted, still in a whisper, but craving was escalating to desperation in microseconds.
Still no reaction. Now that pervert was really torturing me...
-I... - I gulped-...I'm sorry, master.
He slowly nodded. I was loud and clear while sincere tears would roll down my totally messed up face.

-I'm sorry, master..! I was such a bad girl and undeserving of your attention..! Please, let me cum, I beg of you, master..! I'll make it all up to you, I swear..! Please, oh, please...I'm so sorry, my master..!

That sly smile showed upon his face again, as he admired his work. There I was , utterly prostrate wrecked, worn out and given.  I didn't need no mercy: all I was craving for was his hot meat inside me all over, 'til I get drenched on his cum.

-Please, fuck me, my master..! Let me cum..please..! - yeah, I was begging hard.

Then the vibration restarted. He was on top of me shoving his whole cock at once inside my ass. Taking it all out before diving it again all the way deep. I screamed and cried everytime I felt that stocking right in.  He was not only holding the toys inside me, but also pressing my cunt in a way the vibration would reverberate to his fingers, pinching my clit. He increased the rythym and I noticed his face was getting red. I've seen how that goes. 

-Get ready for my load..! - He could barely have time to say. I felt his cock getting tense and then exploding in a hot wave inside me. And when it hit, I couldn't hold no more. I expelled the remaining vibrating balls along with a tidal squirting,  that mingled with his cum that were flowing outta me.

I'm totally his. And he knows it.





Monday, September 18, 2017

Sittin In The Bus

"What are you doing now?"

A bit more than one hour to showtime. By then there's nothing more  to do than wait. We were in the bus, not a regular bus, but one of these big ones without windows, one can't see anything from inside.

I sit on his lap, already heading for teasing. Moving my hips against his body purposedly to pull the skirt bit up, making it such a disposable detail. Anyone could see, but still no one would notice if we made it quiet enough. One of his hands started climbing my inner thighs and soon he dipped one finger into my pussy.

-If you go on, there will be no "i-have-to-go-onstage" excuse that would get me off you. - I warned. He didn't care. I could feel his dick growing harder and hotter right below me. So thirsty to drown in my soaked vagina. But there would be simply no time for that.

-Let me sit on it... Just a little bit..! - It was as if worthy begging. He helped me to unzip his pants and discretly slide it all it. When I felt it couldn't go deeper, I had to hold a moan he desguised with a kiss.

Years gone by didn't erase that teenage fetish for his rockstar stance. How many times she got her sheets wet by squirting at that kind of dreams. Now she could have them all.

- Take me onstage in leather lingerie and give your audience a really impressive performance, letting they see how hard your cock fills my every hole...

- That would really be something.

He felt her juice dripping down as his now shameless moves reached for her breasts still covered by the dress. He grabbed them both from below the fabric, and pulled her body closer. She spreaded her legs a bit, leaned over and purred when a moist finger tickled her ass.

-I have to go bang my head for a while, now...
-You're not going anywhere until you bang me to cum...- her moves intensify, about to loose control.He knows how to push the right bottom now. And feel her body convulsionate in an orgasm.

-There you go. The show goes onstage now.
-But you still have a hard on..!

Kissed her and left. He was all ready to play.




Monday, February 6, 2017

Dream Cam

Again I can't count the days since I last had my body cumming below or above someone else's. And last year was so busy that I didn't even have too much time to notice how much I was missing it.
Only after 2016 was finally past and I could rest for a few days in January, I started feeling 'back to life'. The peceful days on the coast exhausted my body, cleared my mind and made me healthier and hornier.

I open the social media page. I intend to send you a message.

"Hi. I've been thinking about you."

I'm thinking about how you look hot when fucking. The way your smiley, almost shy eyes get serious and intimidating. A solemn expression to your angel face shows that devil's taking control.
I've been thinking about your hands violently grabbing my boobs out of my cleavage, as if we didn't care for romance. Been thinking about your mouth sucking my nipples hard enough to make them sore while I deliciously feel my pussy being flooded with the juice of my craving for your fuck. Yeah, I've been thinking about you and how good you could pound my cunt right now.

Instead of typing the message, my fingers slid through my puffy pussy lips. I am so moist that it feels like I had already cummed a dozen times today. I want you to see that. I turn on the web camera. You're not online. On screen, only my mirrored image. The scene you should be watching. I pull down my panties, open my legs wide and expose my throbbing clit, being careful to hold still and close enough to the lenses, so you could see it growing red and bigger, as my thight holes are pulsating for some action. 

One drop of juice leaks out of my sobbing pussy, running down to my butthole. With one finger I rub the moist over my tiny hole.  I moan, because it feels so good. Another finger reaches inside. And comes out. Then back in. I get wetter and wetter: My pussy is begging to be touched, but I won't do it. Not now. My little fingers goes deep inside me, one by one. Just to tease. Almost torture.

I close my eyes to see you in between my legs, my hands tied up on my back while yours would explore my body. I feel the tip of your tongue working my clit and dream the finger stuck on my butt would be your dick actually, but I've decided these tiny fingers were not up to your hard meat, which I desperatedly need to have stuck into me. In my head, you blow me good while fingering both my holes. On the screen, I was just like any naughty slut shoving a sex toy to her pussy.

Totally shaved, I was rubbing a 40 centimeters dildo through my pussy lips, sliding it right in between them. If it feels this good in hard plastic or silicon, what to say about the real deal: a true cock, hard and proud, I was anxious to lick with my drooling cunt. The plastic toy had me guessing how deep you could bury your hard-on down my throat.

And all was getting registered: the slow fingering, the energetic rubbing, the sensual moves and the naughty 'menáge a moi'. On my knees, I hold the dildo between my feet and turn my back to the camera, looking for the best angle to be fucked from behind. Sitting hard on your imaginary cock, spreading my buttcheeks so you could worship the moment your boner goes all inside my ass as you slap my pussy.

Sweaty and panting and overly excited, I turn around and expose my breasts, tiny nipples so hard and sensitive it hurts. All my life I had locked myself in private to masturbate, but tonight it's an online show, cast to distant grounds in order to thrill an audience of one. And I was definitely feeling like a fuckstar.

An squirting orgasm exhausted my strength and expelled the dildo from inside me, along with a tidal wave of cum. Must confess I am almost proud I got that on film. The most impressive climax of my life. What a waste, I wish I was the one to squirt all over your face, for a change...

I turned the camera off and uploaded the video to send rightaway, without thinking much. Along, just a quick message to demonstrate my total honesty about such boldness:

"I miss you."






Sunday, February 5, 2017

Keep cumming back...

Just one of these nights I start questioning myself if I'm a weirdo for not realy willing to call anyone out for a drink wherever. It's sunday evening and I'm home alone on a typical summer night.
Spent all day by the pool, testing mixes with all sorts of colorful tropical fruit and a fine vodka.  The hot weather was asking for some topless time. When the sun set, I could still feel its heat on my engoldened tanned skin.

One last shower before I can dress the white nightgown for a contrast. The fresh water comes down my body, and I can feel it in places I'd like to feel your touching. A physical memory that gives me shivers and hit me with a warm wave from inside.

The window is open, the moon is almost full. I can see only the shadows of the palmtrees on the front yard. With the lights out, no one can see me either. Hot as the weather that night, but even wetter, I let my fingers tease my pussy, wishing it were your hands to explore me.

It's not merely a fantasy, but the memories of the actual feelings what turns me on.  From the first time I could never forget how your skin feels like against mine. Your smell, your looks and moves, daaaaamn, for some reason no one had never turned me on the way you do : not before, nor after. But nobody's watching, so I'm the addicted bitch.  I dream of you feeding me with your rock hard cock as deep as you can reach as your tongue plays between my legs. Not even the coldest shower would cool me down by now.

How I love to ride you..! To see my pussy swallowing all your cock makes it wetter as deeper as it gets. I'll put my ass up to you and wait to be strongely grabbed from behind. And while you banged me in my immagination, I came so hard I'm sure I'd make you cum too, with the crazy shockwave that hit me again, with the memory of having you filling me up with a hot load..! 

I closed the shower. My legs were shaking and I had to wait a moment before walking to the room. But writing this all  made me feel all horny again. It's late o'clock and there's no hurry to sleep: I'm on vacations....