Smells like disillusion

Something's terribly wrong. I dunno if it's me or the world, problem is that the more I think it's the world, the worse I feel about me. I may be grumpy and irritable sometimes, but I'm hardly a depressive person. But that's pretty much how I am feeling right now. Sad, as if suddenly all the hope had been ripped off my heart. As if I would never be happy again. I look at the future and I can actually see it, but for the first time in my life it doesn´t seem so bright and appealing.

Feel like I just knew I already went through all the golden moments of my life. As if I just knew I already ran out of joyful occasions in this existence.

Today when I was leaving work, I knew a big fire burnt something like 200 shacks of a shantytown close to where I live. Lives changed drastically today. I can still smell the broken dreams, the hopes, the pain and delight of the way more than thousand people who lost everything.

Did I lose something too..?

My soul is tired. But it will be hard to sleep tonight.