Saturday, October 20, 2012

This could be heaven. Or haven. Or raven. I'm not too sure.

Finally weekend. Just got home, took a shower, clothes off, TV on. "The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy". What a Friday night, huh?
I'm starting to get used to be lonely. I'm afraid I'm starting to get used to be empty aswell. Not enough to give up, but still I don't feel like I'm living the summer of my life. Anymore. But hey, maybe that makes some sense: it can't be summer forever, can it? I wish...

In a way, this endless dreaming keeps me inspired. I'd say like Rapunzel on the tower, like Ariel on the stone, but truly: I gave up fairytales for good. This time not because I think romantism is dead, but because I truly understood that real life is really better. Never saw a fairytale prince who makes the princess laugh as much as I love when he makes me laugh. Never saw a fairytale prince who had a really charming looks: they always seems to have a padronized beauty, which I despise. I value unique beauties. People that has something, some detail I won't ever find in anyone else. I cherish the special, and I know my love is no ordinary love. At least I'm sure it´s far beyond what today people seem to understand as love: some selfish, reserved feeling to which is more important to keep it reasonable, to keep it "real". People actually are keeping themselves from love actually. Don't you fall for this bullshit, that love hurts. It's fear that does it.

Maybe I'm just being ridiculous, but I'm missing nothing in keep on dreaming, in feeding my hopes on the silvery memories I have from moments when I was truly happy. It's not that the world was perfect, it's not that all my troubles in life were gone: but truly, I know how good life can be - maybe it can't get any better than that, but I wouldn't be expecting anything else while I'm alive and subjected to cold and hunger. If I´m condemned to cry every now and then, I just wouldn't want to cry over missing him anymore...
Am I expecting too much? I am not expecting anything. I don't expect. I hope.

And wait.

By the way, I´am fully aware that this blog is becoming terrible boring and sweet. Problem is that lately I only have time to write it in the end of the night, when I´m usually lonely and romantic, so I end up throwing this up here. I´ve been bit tired of the erotic stories: it's sometimes frustrating to keep my mind this hot, and my body that cold.

It will explode at some point, though. Soon.

Mr. Red never fails.

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