Wrong from the start

Just woke up. This time I'm sure my dream didn't make me any happy. In fact, it was curious how the worst part of it made me wake up exactly one minute before the alarm clock sound.
Maybe I had these awful dreams because yesterday I went to sleep with my head full of the evil that men do. I had some terrible news, I was very tired of working way too much, I feel somewhat alone and I know I'm pushing away some people who want to be with me. I feel guilty for that, and then I look in the mirror and I notice I'm not that kid anymore, to go on living as if I would never grow old. I won't be beautiful and willful forever, and although I know I still am, sometimes that's exactly the reason for me to fear how much I can still fuck my own future.

By now I'm pretty sure I came to this world to live quite a story. But I'm not sure about happy endings anymore.