That would make me happy by now...

*You can GET chocolate.
*"If you love me you'll swallow that"; has real meaning with chocolate.
*Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.
*You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to.
*You can have chocolate even in front of your mother.
*If you bite the nuts too hard the chocolate won't mind.
*Two people of the same sex can have chocolate without being called nasty names.
*The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate.
*You can have chocolate on top of your workbench/desk during working hours without upsetting your work mates.
*You can ask a stranger for chocolate without getting your face slapped.
*You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate.
*With chocolate there's no need to fake it.
*Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant.
*You can have chocolate at any time of the month.
*Good chocolate is easy to find.
*You can have as many kinds of chocolate as you can handle.
*You are never too young or too old for chocolate.
*When you have chocolate it does not keep your neighbours awake.
*With chocolate size doesn't matter; it's always good.
*A chocolate never tells you they liked you better with long hair.
*A chocolate never snaps your bra or pinches your bum.
*Chocolate can stay hard for a week
*You can safely have chocolate while driving.
*It's easy to find 9 inches of chocolate.
*You don't have to wait until half-time to talk to your chocolate.
*You won't find out later that your chocolate is married.
*You won't find out later that your chocolate is on penicillin.