Monday, December 31, 2012

Mom needs wine

Last movie that I probably watched this year: Mars Needs Moms. For those who never heard it´s a modern animation directed by Simon Wells that is really worth to see. Especially  is you are a mom or a son. Or daughter. I had seen that movie before and I remember I liked it, but I don't remember noticing some reflections like how come the martians represents an extremist feminist society, where everything works high tech, but a motherly heart is missing, in a point they found easier to "import" good moms from the Earth, in order to drain their mom skills - process that also causes mom´s desintegration. They developed technology enough to that- but not to learn how to really raise kids. I know, I might had a bit two much of moscatel wine before getting to this conclusions, but maybe this is the world I picture the future of Earth itself. Woman can easily handle the world of success we live today, because we are naturally built to handle a bunch of things at the same time, since we're built to be moms. To be responsible of someone else. If male and female couldn't live without each other, we would been born attached. So, females has skills to survive for herself and still protect someone else. In the nature. Today's society might be tuff, but this rules are taken most easily by any girl than any guy.- can there it be any bigger responsibility.

 Woman's rights conquered a lot more than it ever did, and women of course noticed in what they are good at, and somehow it begin to be more important to society, than to raise her kids full time- or at is best most time possible. In the movie, the kids are raised by robot-babysitters. Look at that dudes from that obviously hippie tribe and tell me they don't identify much more as an ideal kind of typical male: funny, friendly, happy and caring about kids. Even if too colorful.
The movie promotes the concept of family and balance, helping the kid to understand the importance of motherhood. Because, truly? I didn't understand a lot of things until I become a mom myself. And I'm not talking only about sleeping time. I comprehended that my mom had to take a lot of decisions and give up a lot of things in my benefit, that I never knew and will never know. And most of them are the toughest decisions she had to make.

I know how privileged I've been for spending most of my daughter's life at home with her. Still what I hear most is "how come you spent that many time without a formal job?". I hear this for people that could perfectly do it the same I did, giving up small luxury for some time. But hardly any did it. Now she is starting to have her own life and goes to school, must learn to take her own decisions, and I am happy I can step forward also, back to work without having to concern about a completely helpless human being that carries my heritage. Even because of this: I remember being her age and I watched her grow closely, I can try to guess some reactions, and work a better communication, based in how I would understand her if I was her age.

 I also know pretty much how naive she can be, and no matter how much I try to make my request accomplished by a nice justification, she stands up. It´s when I eventually apply but an apparently senseless rule or punishment that translates the meaning of that misbehaving. And some things she only learns from life. I told her a zillion times no to touch the karaoke mic with her mouth when singing. I had to remember her every single time with every single mic she had in hands. I told ver about the electrical shock hazard, I told her it's gross and has microbes that will make her sick, I told her she could stumble and hurt her teeth, I explain all the possible real reasons why I didn't want her to have that behaviour. It never worked, until the day she really got shocked. Not a dangerous one, not worse than anything you could get by drooling over an electric mic, but, you know, bad enough for scaring a little girls who still starts crying before taking the medicine.

And I never say "I told you.". I just look at her and I know she knows. She's very smart, but stubborn as a Calvin. I read the comics, I learnt a few lessons from it. And I have a good memory. Believe me, my mom was also right a bunch of times when I was 5. And I only believed her because I messed up at some point, mostly exactly where she warned me I would. Too late to fix a mess she had already foreseen.

Some girls today may choose not to take this responsability and I completely respect that, but still she's not excused of recognizing that my being a good daughter.  Kids turn into good adults when you respect their childhood when establishing a communication. But it's a concept I hardly see applied: adults mostly underestimate the intelligence of their kids because of the different form they interact through life. The things they priorize. It mostly has an origin, a logic that you can observate and communicate at the same level, but it takes some time to analize. Some patience and love. And it's sure easier to get if you don't have to waste time solving corporative problems that doesn't concern you personally. This is not worthy having more time to study a language with your preschool kid, just for fun.

A kid that has a mom at home all the time is also privileged in our generation. I am pretty sure it contributes for the kid's development. It can also bring some collateral effects, such as a big influence on the kid's musical taste. Sometimes it's actually more fitting to call it collateral effects. I must confess I feel great when my daughter makes fun of her friends who like Michel Teló. Of course I support diversity, but come on, Michel Teló.!? You wouldn't like your kid to be into this shit either, unless you're the kind of person that really swallows everything media shoves you, and in this case there are worse things to worry about than your music taste.

Damn, I miss watching a cartoon and just have a few laughs instead of drinking wine and start to thinking too much. I definitely wouldn't be drinking if my daughter wasn't out for vacations with her father, but we would sure be watching that cartoon instead of thinking and typing at the same time, straight on the blogger pannel. I'll now press the publishing bottom without reviewing it...

..and this will be my last drunk contribution for this blog on this year of 2012.

Happy New Year!

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